The Inevitable Collision of Birdie and Bash by Candace Granger

* * 1/2

Birdie never meant to be at the party. Bash should have been long gone. But when they meet, a collision course is set off they may never recover from.

Sebastian Alvaréz is just trying to hold the pieces together: to not flunk out, to keep his sort-of-best friend Wild Kyle from doing something really bad, and to see his beloved Ma through chemo. But when he meets Birdie Paxton, a near-Valedictorian who doesn’t realize she’s smoking hot in her science pun T-shirt, at a party, an undeniable attraction sparks. And suddenly he’s not worried about anything. But before they are able to exchange numbers, they are pulled apart. A horrifying tragedy soon links Birdie and Bash together—but neither knows it. When they finally reconnect, and are starting to fall—hard—the events of the tragedy unfold, changing both their lives in ways they can never undo. Told in alternating perspectives, The Inevitable Collision of Birdie & Bash by Candace Ganger is a beautiful, complex, and ultimately hopeful teen novel that will move you to the very last page.

Source: advance e-galley provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review



The Inevitable Collision of Birdie and Bash is about two people whose lives intersect at different times, each time with a different impact and outcome. 

Bash is the child of a single immigrant mother whose health is ailing. It's no wonder that he's hardly doing well at school and hanging with the wrong person, namely his friend Wild Kyle, who happens to be the son of his mom's former employer. He meets Birdie at a party and the two engage in some comical banter. Unfortunately, their encounter doesn't have the chance to go anywhere because Bash is pulled away to take care of his friend. So they're stuck wondering about each other. Birdie has more on her mind than just the mysterious boy from the party. She's unsure about her future and doesn't know how to break it to her mother. She also has the added pain of not getting along with her out of control younger sister. At the very moment that Birdie decides she has to speak to her mother about a secret she's been holding, her family's world collapses. Birdie is left with the guilt of causing the accident and Bash is left with the heavy weight of the truth about what happened.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it: this was a tumultuous read. At any moment you're either gutted for Bash because life has been so cruel to him or ticked off at him because he's being an ass or boneheaded about something. Birdie's a mess because she's been unhappy for a while and sometimes she becomes almost detached from her life when she becomes so analytical. Then there's that odd moment of lightheartedness between them that makes you wish you could wrap them up in a bubble and keep them there. The somber truth about what connects them outside that bubble is inescapable. Granger takes our emotions all over the place as we watch Bash and Birdie pick up all the broken pieces of their lives and make attempts at moving on or in Bash's case, redemption. I was close to tears several times. If it weren't for that glimpse of hope down the road I don't know that I could have kept my composure.

I'm in between on this book. The events that transpired got me emotionally but otherwise I have mixed feelings about these two characters. I didn't feel a strong connection to either of them but rather I felt I was looking in from the outside the entire time. I will add that I'm glad that I read it as it's a reminder that everyone's life is more complicated than what we assume we know, and that Birdie and Bash are as complicated as can be.

~ Bel

The Boy Who Killed Grant Parker by Kat Spears

* * * *

Luke Grayson's life might as well be over when he's forced to go live in rural Tennessee with his Baptist pastor father. His reputation as a troublemaker has followed him there, and as an outsider, Luke is automatically under suspicion by everyone from the principal at his new school to the local police chief. His social life is no better. The new kid in town is an easy target for Grant Parker, the local golden boy with a violent streak who has the entire community of Ashland under his thumb.

But things go topsy-turvy when a freak accident removes Grant from the top of the social pyramid, replacing him with Luke. This fish out of water has suddenly gone from social outcast to hero in a matter of twenty-four hours. For the students who have lived in fear of Grant all their lives, this is a welcome change. But Luke’s new found fame comes with a price. Nobody knows the truth about what really happened to Grant Parker except for Luke, and the longer he keeps living the lie, the more like Grant Parker he becomes. 

Source: advance e-galley provided by St. Martin's Griffin in exchange for an honest review


High school is that unique jungle that divides teens into various social classes. Students either love or loathe their experience.  As my own child enters freshman year, I worry about what she'll encounter and how she'll adapt. I keep reminding myself that is a time for her to develop those valuable life skills - to figure out who she is and what genuine friendship means. That was reaffirmed for me as I read The Boy Who Killed Grant Parker.

Moving from Washington, DC to a small town has Luke Grayson completely out of his element. Being the new kid in his senior year is rough and is made worse when his principal and the local sheriff have him pegged as a troublemaker as soon as he enters the door. His goal is to remain under the radar, get through his senior year and then as far away as possible from Ashland. The universe unfortunately has other ideas. He ends up in a humiliating altercation with a mascot that only draws more unwanted attention to him. Then Grant Parker, football star and local god, zeroes in on Luke as his latest victim. When Luke is involved in an accident that sends Grant out of the picture, he becomes the hero who stood up to the bully. Suddenly he's popular. As his notoriety grows, it becomes glaringly obvious that he was more comfortable as an outsider than being part of the in crowd. Rather than do something to rectify the situation, he resigns himself to apathy.

What struck me most about the story is how realistic its premise is. Like most kids, Luke wants to sit at the cool kid table and fit in. The new pecking order means no longer socializing with the initial outcasts who befriended him. His situation reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a parent of a 6th grader who was having troubling with how to be nice to her old and new friends. It's definitely not an isolated problem. Two worthwhile characters to note are Delilah, the police chief's daughter and Roger, owner of a garage where Luke works. They are the most authentic people in Luke's life. Delila, who prefers to be an outsider has a cynical view on things whereas Roger tells it like it is, even if it's at Luke's expense. He has no qualms at all about telling him what a knucklehead he's being and that brings out the laughs. Everyone else had me doing so many eyerolls with their hypocritical nonsense that I couldn't wait to get out of there myself. 

Kat Spears doesn't write likable or care-free characters. To a certain extent her heroes or anti-heroes are the most honest about who they are. And she lets their circumstances get messy before offering them the opportunity to redeem themselves, and that's why I'm drawn to her stories. There's no telling how things will turn out but I feel like her characters are always on the edge of discovering some grand, illuminating idea about life that will propel them forward. And that's the entire reason to read The Boy Who Killed Grant Parker.

~ Bel

Breakaway by Kat Spears

* * * 1/2

From Kat Spears, author of Sway, comes a new novel that asks the question: when a group of four best friends begin to drift apart, what will it take to bring them back together?

When Jason Marshall's younger sister dies, he knows he can count on his three best friends and soccer teammates — Mario, Jordie, and Chick — to be there for him. With a grief-crippled mother and a father who's not in the picture, he needs them more than ever. But when Mario starts hanging out with a rough group of friends and Jordie finally lands the girl of his dreams, Jason is left to fend for himself while maintaining a strained relationship with troubled and quiet Chick. Then Jason meets Raine, a girl he thinks is out of his league but who sees him for everything he wants to be, and he finds himself pulled between building a healthy and stable relationship with a girl he might be falling in love with, grieving for his sister, and trying to hold onto the friendships he has always relied on.

A witty and emotionally moving tale of friendship, first love, and loss, Breakaway is Kat Spears at her finest.

It’s a miracle when an author can get you to come round to liking an utterly unlikable protagonist. That’s what happened in Sway and how I came to admire Kat Spears’ writing. Naturally, Breakaway has been on my list of must-read books for a while.

Jason or Jax as he’s known to his friends is going through the worst period of his life right now. His younger sister died (the cause never revealed to the reader) and he's not entirely sure how he should grieve. He and his friends live in a rougher part of town. They’re all pretty tight and are also on the soccer team. But after his sister’s funeral, Jax notices some changes happening within the group. His best friend Mario has been different lately, Jordie is dating and Chick, the friend that they took under their wing has been acting strangely. Then there is his strained relationship with his mother, worsened since his sister’s passing because he's uncertain how to help her through her heartache, too.

Jax is a rough-around-the-edges kind of guy so it’s unexpected when he hits it off with Raine, a mutual friend. He’s been cool so far with being the jerk and being perceived as such but when h's around Raine, he's awkward. There's something about her that begs a different response from him. Possibly what draws him to her is that she doesn’t expect anything from him. He takes delight in little things like their taunting each other over their music choices. (I did love that mention of Arcade Fire and Foals, by the way.) She lightens the mood and gives him something to look forward to. So it turns out, he's changing, too.

Kat Spears has done it again delivering a complicated character who’s learning firsthand how life can change in an instant (the death of his sister) and also evolve so slowly that you don't recall when it started (the changing dynamics between his friends). It's about how growing into adulthood means an ever-changing perception of self and the immediate world around you, which is exactly what's occurring here. I was impressed by how Jax maintained some self-control despite other forces spiraling out of control around him. However, he can’t save everyone while he’s still hampered by his own confusion. 

Breakaway will resonate with readers. It's profound reading that made me think about my own childhood friends and also wonder how my eldest, who’s on to high school soon, will adapt to certain changes in the coming years. So yes, read Breakaway and when you're done, give Jax a hug.

~ Bel

Perfect Betrayal by Season Vining

* * *

To the outside world, Taylor Hudson has it all: beauty, money and social status. But Taylor's privileged life is far lonelier than it appears.

Levi is the inside man on a job to steal fifteen million dollars from one of the town's wealthiest families, putting him on a crash course with Taylor. Neither of them believe in love, but lust. . . that's undeniable.

Now they're locked in a wicked game of seduction and it's unclear who is playing who. But neither of them expected the affair to lead to the deepest connection they've ever experienced. Because beneath Taylor's perfect exterior lies a need for love that mirrors Levi's own.? As the heist approaches, how can Levi protect Taylor from the truth? Is he willing to give up everything to save the one girl who's made him want to be a better man?

On the surface, Taylor is every rich-girl cliché you can think of. She has the looks, the boyfriend she’s using, and equally shallow friends. She can have anything at her fingertips except for loving, involved parents. Underneath her mean, bitch attitude is a little girl who wants so much for her parents to take an interest in her. When Levi shows up as the new head of maintenance, she sees a guy who’s unlike any other she’s had. She makes a game of seducing him so that she can toss him away.

Levi is as gritty and serious as they come. He’s lived through some hard times and this current gig as head maintenance guy is his one last time to score some major cash and then fall off the radar permanently. He doesn’t count on Taylor being a distraction. At first he sees her as a spoiled brat though he can’t deny that physically she’s a specimen to die for. He knows that she’s working hard to get him to notice her so tries to ignore her advances and limit their run-ins.

Taylor doesn’t give up easily and well, you can guess where this all leads. Both Taylor and Levi eventually have mixed feelings about what they’re doing with each other but they can’t stay away. Levi's feelings are complicated by the fact that he still has a job to do and it’s not just his fate on the line but also that of his fellow cohorts. No matter what the outcome, someone will get hurt and it will inevitably be Taylor.

If there’s anything to glean from this is that what’s on the surface is not the whole story. Taylor is both wild and a jumbled up mess thanks to her parents. While it explains why she is the way she is, I still could’t help but be a little cool towards her. I have to hand it to her though because she does do some growing up when she learns of all the lies and secrets. Levi is a surprisingly sensitive guy who loses himself in poetry. Seriously, that is one mega turn on! He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, most of all Taylor but he’s made a commitment to get things done and people are depending on him.

It’s quite a predicament they get themselves into. In the end, it’s not the money on the line but their hearts and what they’ll decide moving forward to find happiness. I enjoyed Season Vining’s previous book, Held Against You, and I’ve enjoyed Perfect Betrayal just as much. She’s good at giving her characters depth, even the ones who may be slightly unlikable. Despite my reservations about Taylor, I still wanted her to be happy as much as I wanted it for Levi. And you’ll just have to read it so see how things turn out for them!

~ Bel

   

     

    

Sway by Kat Spears Review & Interview

* * * * *

In Kat Spears’s hilarious and often poignant debut, high school senior Jesse Alderman, or "Sway," as he’s known, could sell hell to a bishop. He also specializes in getting things people want---term papers, a date with the prom queen, fake IDs. He has few close friends and he never EVER lets emotions get in the way. For Jesse, life is simply a series of business transactions.

But when Ken Foster, captain of the football team, leading candidate for homecoming king, and all-around jerk, hires Jesse to help him win the heart of the angelic Bridget Smalley, Jesse finds himself feeling all sorts of things. While following Bridget and learning the intimate details of her life, he falls helplessly in love for the very first time. He also finds himself in an accidental friendship with Bridget’s belligerent and self-pitying younger brother who has cerebral palsy. Suddenly, Jesse is visiting old folks at a nursing home in order to run into Bridget, and offering his time to help the less fortunate, all the while developing a bond with this young man who idolizes him. Could the tin man really have a heart after all?

A Cyrano de Bergerac story with a modern twist, Sway is told from Jesse’s point of view with unapologetic truth and biting humor, his observations about the world around him untempered by empathy or compassion---until Bridget’s presence in his life forces him to confront his quiet devastation over a life-changing event a year earlier and maybe, just maybe, feel something again.

This premise was plenty enough to persuade me to give this a go and what I discovered was not only far from expected but also exactly what I needed.

The story starts off with Jesse aka Sway getting beat up by Ken, the big man on campus, who has issues with Jesse being a little close to his girlfriend. From there we see how things came to this point. See, the term “I’ve got a guy” was tailor-made made for him. Jesse can get you anything you want and make arrangements for anything you need.  Nothing is off limits. Jesse doesn’t question the moral rightness of what’s requested.  So when Ken asks him to help him get close to a certain popular but quiet girl at school, Bridget, he doesn’t think twice.  His only rule is that he doesn’t allow anything to get close to him.  The Bridget assignment turns out to be a game changer. Not only does she get close to him, things also get personal.

There’s so much that goes on in Sway, from Jesse’s dealings with his peers at school to other questionable sorts away from it. Some of it is downright uncomfortable, morally questionable and well, illegal too.  But here’s the deal with Jesse – while he may be the biggest jerk who’s lacking a much needed filter, he has a keen understanding of human nature and how people think.  I found myself being impressed by his observations that are dead on and very matter-of-fact. For example, he has a particular business relationship with a certain dealer who is essentially a loser. However, Jesse glimpses a different side to the guy that wouldn’t have been as obvious to the rest of us.

What makes Sway intriguing is the fact that Jesse's this dichotomous personality that you can’t quite pin down. There are instances when he does things because they are self-serving yet you can't help but admire his business mind and ingenious plans. The guy is resourceful! Later, thanks to Bridget’s influence, he employs a different attitude. It’s a gradual evolution into becoming a different kind of man that’s as surprising to him as it is comical to the reader. By the end of the book, I liked Jesse so much that I was in complete wonderment as to how Spears pulled it off!

Another delightful aspect of the book is his budding friendship with two other characters – Pete, Bridget’s younger brother who’s about as anti-social as Jesse and Mr. Dunkelman, a gentleman at an senior community who pretends to be Jesse’s grandfather. Jesse and Pete have an antagonistic relationship that’s actually good for Pete, while Mr. Dunkelman gives Jesse just as much crap as he gives out. These two hit it off immediately and had me laughing so hard. Here’s an example of the humor and straightforward banter their unlikely friendship develops:

“It’s been a week. You’re not even going to try to talk to him?” Mr. D asked.

“What for?”

“I don’t know, “ he said. “You could try apologizing.”

“Apologize for what?” I asked as I looked up at him with a scowl.

“For being an asshole, “ he said impatiently. “That’s not in dispute, is it? The part about you being an asshole?”

See what I mean? This book is a fantastic read even if it has some somber and dubious moments.  Jesse with his complicated but intriguing persona surprised me by becoming one of my favourite characters this year. Sway is simply refreshing with its honesty and brusque language making it one of the best debuts I've read in a long time! 

~ Bel

Now for an added bonus, Kat Spears graciously agreed to an interview to talk about Sway. Some of her answers will surprise you. And she'll also share her thoughts on bacon.  Keep reading - it's so worth it!


What inspired Sway and the various personalities in the book?

Hoo boy, how much time do you have?

Sway is really the story of a friendship between two boys, Jesse and Pete. I studied a lot of Biblical history in college and found it endlessly fascinating. So,these two characters were inspired by Jesus and St. Peter and the relationship between them as portrayed through the Gospels.

I know. I know. I know what you are going to say. Jesse is a terrible person and Jesus was the son of God and a really cool dude who just wanted us all to be nice to each other. How could I even begin to compare these two people? But there are times when Jesus could be very hard on the people who were close to him, and St. Peter bore the brunt of that on more than one occasion. Eventually, though St. Peter had been a loyal and devoted follower of Jesus, St. Peter did betray Jesus more than once. It was a complicated friendship.

I really liked the idea of retelling that story, albeit with a huge amount of artistic license, as set in a contemporary high school. I didn’t follow the Biblical story to the letter, of course. Just looking at it loosely, Jesse performs a series of “miracles,” pulling off jobs and manipulations like no boy his age should be able to do; Pete becomes his disciple, adopting the bad boy persona. The betrayal in Sway comes from both sides, but I like to imagine that St. Peter felt somewhat betrayed when Jesus told the disciples that he must go to Jerusalem to suffer under torture and be killed. See what I mean? Complicated.

Other characters were all inspired by people I have known—some living, some dead. My biggest regret is that Carter was based on a boy I knew in high school and beyond. One conversation between Jesse and Carter was lifted from real life, a conversation he and I had when we were about 18. The person Carter is based on is now deceased, but I like to think he has become immortal through Sway.

Jesse is not the quintessential hero. He’s prickly and not exactly pc. Were you at all nervous about where he was taking you?

There are parts to Sway that I cringed as I wrote them. The one that really stands out for me is the scene in which Jesse describes the kids Bridget volunteers with at the Siegel Center. Though his delivery comes off as very insensitive, Jesse is really just describing what he sees. He’s brutally honest in his description of their physical disabilities, even mentioning that he finds the drool coming from one boy’s mouth to be revolting. This observation is cruel and unkind, and it makes us dislike Jesse a bit (or a lot).

There are two things at play that make this scene one that was both hard to write, and is now hard to read. One, is that we are socially conditioned to understand that describing people with special needs in the way that Jesse does is wrong. So, even if we were to think about a particular group of people in a certain way—whether you’re speaking of race, physical or intellectual disabilities, gender, religion—most people wouldn’t say it out loud, because most of the time it just isn’t socially acceptable (thank God).

And two, the other thing at play with this scene is that when a person feels really, really terrible—suffers from depression or has withstood tremendous grief—it becomes difficult to feel empathy and compassion for other people. Most of the time, when people are rude or unpleasant or mean, it is just because they themselves are deeply unhappy. So, Jesse, a deeply unhappy person who has closed himself off from feeling anything, can’t really see these kids in the way he should. He should feel guilt and remorse for being insensitive about the way he describes them, but he doesn’t, because he isn’t capable of experiencing those emotions.

Definitely some of the things Jesse says are offensive and make him a hard person to like. But there are a lot of people like that in the world, all fighting their own battles. It’s what makes this planet an interesting place to live.

Did I ever worry that my book would not be publishable, or people would be offended, because it deals with some issues that are not usually explored honestly and openly? Not really. All I did was write was a book that portrayed a high school I knew and understood, portrayed male teenagers in a way that I personally experienced them when I was a teenager myself. They say you should write what you know. The high school in Sway is the high school I knew.

Did I ever worry that people wouldn’t like Jesse (and, I suppose by extension, not like me)? If there is one important lesson it is that you can’t like, or be liked by, everyone in this world. All you can do is try to be nice to people and treat them the way you would like to be treated. Some people will be offended by Jesse, but I can’t help that. Others will appreciate his depth and complexity, and I wrote this book for them.

Did you have a specific message in mind when you wrote Sway?

No, I don’t feel like I really set out to create a message-driven book. These were just people who I got to know inside my head and they acted out the rest. But I have enjoyed reading about the meanings other people have discovered in reading Sway. One of my friends likes to discuss Sway as if it is real literature and not just something kind of funny that I wrote. She analyzes the characters’ personalities and motivations and it is fun to expand their back stories after the fact in conversation with her. I have to be honest, I was always really turned off by message-driven books for young people when I was a teenager so there is nothing I really preach in Sway. Except one point, that Jesse makes more than once, which is that recreational drug use is not the best idea if you want to accomplish good things in life. Smoking pot, drinking alcohol, dropping X—it doesn’t make you a better writer or artist. Quite the contrary. And I’ve lost several people in my life to drug and alcohol abuse, which is a horrible waste.

Which character in the book do you relate to the most or feel a special affinity with?

Jesse most of all. I understand that sense of turning off your feelings because some things are just too horrible to feel. Of course, then you have to let go of the good feelings too.

Jesse has chosen to wall himself off instead of experiencing hurt or regret. In a way, it’s almost…respectable. He doesn’t burden other people with his problems; never asks anyone to do him a favor he isn’t paying for with cash; and he tries to have the strength to navigate the world alone. In Jesse’s words: He’s a survivor. I can respect a survivor.

As you’re working on a story, when do you know that you’ve hit your stride?

Hmmm, I don’t think that I’ve ever hit my stride while writing. In fact, I really hate writing a first draft, getting the bones of a story down on paper. My first drafts always suck. A lot. My real joy is in editing and rewriting. I’ll write a draft, revise it about 100 times, hate it to the point of scrapping it altogether, and then one night I’ll wake up at 3:00 AM and know exactly what to do to make it perfect. It’s always a huge relief when that comes.With Sway I had the friendship between two boys and the characters were there but there was no high stakes, no real tension between them. And then, one day, I had the epiphany to throw in a dash of Cyrano de Bergerac and suddenly I had an underlying, secret conflict and with that a climactic betrayal to make it all work.

Now we’d like to switch gears just because. The BiblioJunkies motto is “books, boys, pie”. That being said …

Is there a book that you enjoy to re-read?

There are many books I read over and over again—open them to my favorite part and relish a little ambush on the stockade in Treasure Island, or the gasoline can scene in Stick, or the detective interviews in Murder on the Orient Express, or the London scenes of Sense and Sensibility. I’m kind of a lazy reader in that way and I always have a hard time meeting a new author to fall in love with. But when I do find an author to fall in love with (ahem, Peter Abrahams, I’m waiting for your call), I fall really hard. I can reread an Echo Falls Mystery by Peter Abrahams over and over. My third child is named after the main character, Ingrid.

Between us three BiblioJunkies, we have several book boyfriends and we love them all. Who’s the ultimate book boyfriend to you?

God, Dallas Winston, of course. The quintessential bad boy with a heart of gold (hello, Jesse Alderman). And Ernest Stickley in Stick. Also a bad boy. And, of course, the perfectly broken and tormented male lead…Batman.

Which dessert describes you best?

Does bacon count as a dessert? If not, it should. I think bacon would describe me best. Salty, not great when it’s too crispy, not really good for you, and always makes a mess to cook, but some people like it enough that they put up with these faults.

Thank you Kat, for joining us and giving us insight into your remarkable debut. 

Connect with Kat:

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All Our Pretty Songs by Sarah McCarry

* 1/2

The first book in an exciting YA trilogy, this is the story of two best friends on the verge of a terrifying divide when they begin to encounter a cast of strange and mythical characters.

Set against the lush, magical backdrop of the Pacific Northwest, two inseparable best friends who have grown up like sisters—the charismatic, mercurial, and beautiful Aurora and the devoted, soulful, watchful narrator—find their bond challenged for the first time ever when a mysterious and gifted musician named Jack comes between them. Suddenly, each girl must decide what matters most: friendship, or love. What both girls don’t know is that the stakes are even higher than either of them could have imagined. They’re not the only ones who have noticed Jack’s gift; his music has awakened an ancient evil—and a world both above and below which may not be mythical at all. The real and the mystical; the romantic and the heartbreaking all begin to swirl together, carrying the two on journey that is both enthralling and terrifying.

And it’s up to the narrator to protect the people she loves—if she can.

What I liked …

The story is really well written and evokes some very strong images. The close sister-like relationship between the narrator and Aurora was very touching. They hung out all the time, partied together, went to shows together. It was very obvious that while Aurora was the impulsive shining star that people tended to gravitate toward, the narrator was the one who grounded them and protected them from harm.  I also liked the many musical references that reflected the various changing moods of the characters or set the tone for the scenes.

The other …

There were elements of this story that I was very uncomfortable with.  Like my reaction to Uses For Boys, I apparently I can’t stomach crap parenting in books.  I just felt that these two young girls were so lost, especially Aurora who was spiraling rapidly down a very, very dark hole that there was no way her friend could help her get out of it. 

And then there was the strange combination of reality and the supernatural that made me wonder if the characters were high the entire time.  To be honest, it got absurdly creepy with the introduction of a seedy character named Minos.  At this point, I was hoping someone would come along and save these girls from themselves.   The ending absolutely unsettled me.

I chose this without a clue about the plot. Admittedly, this is not the kind of story that I would naturally pick up for myself. It’s just not my thing but I give credit to Sarah McCarry because her vivid descriptions did create a range of images in my mind from sweet to weird to grotesque. In the end, every writer wants to succeed at drawing you into the world they conceive and this one certainly did.

~ Bel

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

* * * *

"Bono met his wife in high school," Park says.

"So did Jerry Lee Lewis," Eleanor answers.

"I’m not kidding," he says.

"You should be," she says, "we’re sixteen."

"What about Romeo and Juliet?"

"Shallow, confused, then dead."

''I love you," Park says.

"Wherefore art thou," Eleanor answers.

"I’m not kidding," he says.

"You should be."

Set over the course of one school year in 1986, ELEANOR AND PARK is the story of two star-crossed misfits – smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try. When Eleanor meets Park, you’ll remember your own first love – and just how hard it pulled you under.

Eleanor & Park is one of the standouts of the year and will definitely be a strong contender for my Top 10 of 2013. Between Rowell’s smooth writing, Eleanor and Park’s charismatic personalities and the amazing soundtrack as backdrop, I was completely under its spell.

Set in Omaha in 1986, Eleanor and Park first meet each other on the school bus. Park likes to keep to himself on the bus and occupies himself with his music and comics. New girl Eleanor shows up and threatens his peaceful, under-the-radar sanctum by sitting beside him.  Eleanor has no choice since most of the seats have been taken and Park looks the least threatening. What begins as a silent hostility evolves into steadfast friendship.

What did I love about the book? Pretty much everything. Above all, it was Eleanor and Park themselves.  I easily identified with Eleanor’s awkwardness and insecurities which are atypical of that age. There were so many times when I thought to myself, "yeah been there, felt that". She has a messed up home life with a stepdad who drinks constantly and abuses her mom. She’s the eldest child in a family that barely has any money and her house is a disaster as evidenced by the lack of a door on the only bathroom in the house. Eleanor is always trying to be invisible to her stepdad whom she despises because she doesn’t want to stir up any more trouble than there already is.

Park’s life is magical in comparison. His parents are still madly in love and their PDA tends to make Park a little uncomfortable. At that age who wants to see their parents make out? He’s essentially a good kid who is aware that he doesn’t necessarily live up to his father’s high expectations. His dad is more of a macho guy who was stationed in Korea where he met Park’s mom.  Park knows how different he is from is dad and even his younger brother. Where they’re taller, more athletically-inclined and even look more like each other, Park is shorter, not really interested in sports and looks more Asian.  Despite this, Park has carved out his own identity and carries himself with surprising self-assurance. He is the kind of boy any girl would be luck to have as a first love. He has that "forever boy" vibe going on that will seriously melt your heart. Oh and he wears guyliner. Yeah. I love him.

When Eleanor and Park meet, they’re an enigma to each other. Each is judging the other one based on first impression, day-to-day appearance and random encounters. As the school year progresses and Park catches Eleanor reading his comics over his shoulder, he decides to adopt a less hostile attitude towards his seat-mate and starts loaning her his comics. The best part of all of this is that they haven’t even spoken a word to each other yet – except when he yelled at her to sit down on her first day on the bus. I love how Rowell describes them starting to notice each other. It really feels like your inside their minds as they're daydreaming about each other. One of my favorite scenes is when they have their first real conversation and it's not even in person but over the phone. It's so innocent and sweet. As they get more comfortable with each other, Park introduces her to a new world where hanging out at his home is like Disneyland. But that bubble could burst because of Eleanor's insecurities about her appearance and her fear of her step dad constantly get in the way. 

I cannot say enough how truly awesome Eleanor & Park is. The description of their budding friendship and romance has so much heart. And it's their friendship that saves Eleanor from drowning in her depressing family life. Oh and let's not forget the soundtrack that had me giddy with nostalgia! From The Smiths to Joy Division to Elvis Costello, I was a happy, happy reader! It truly is a feel-good story that has clung to me. I find myself wondering what kind of people they'd be now, what they would have overcome and just for my amusement, what kind of music Park would have discovered along the way. And hopefully, he'd still whip out the guyliner on occasion. :) 

~ Bel

Uses For Boys by Erica Lorraine Scheidt

* * 3/4

Anna remembers a time before boys, when she was little and everything made sense. When she and her mom were a family, just the two of them against the world. But now her mom is gone most of the time, chasing the next marriage, bringing home the next stepfather. Anna is left on her own—until she discovers that she can make boys her family. From Desmond to Joey, Todd to Sam, Anna learns that if you give boys what they want, you can get what you need. But the price is high—the other kids make fun of her; the girls call her a slut. Anna's new friend, Toy, seems to have found a way around the loneliness, but Toy has her own secrets that even Anna can't know.

Then comes Sam. When Anna actually meets a boy who is more than just useful, whose family eats dinner together, laughs, and tells stories, the truth about love becomes clear. And she finally learns how it feels to have something to lose—and something to offer. Real, shocking, uplifting, and stunningly lyrical, Uses for Boys  is a story of breaking down and growing up.

Uses For Boys has stumped me. I had a hard time with this and it took me a while to come up with this review. Why did it take me close to a month to write this review? Mostly because I found the entire dysfunctional relationship between Anna and her mother so disturbing. Her mother is a self-absorbed, absentee parent leaving Anna to grow up alone. Seriously, this girl has not one adult in her life to guide her, comfort her or talk to her. She's left to her own devices and frankly I was amazed that she didn't end up in a ditch somewhere.

David Levithan, a writer Nat and I absolutely adore, had said before that we should treat books not as just mirrors but also as windows into other lives. Keeping that in mind, I still found looking through this window to be immensely upsetting. I dreaded every moment of watching Anna being left to fend for herself. What a lonely life! As she got into various predicaments especially sexual situations, I was so uncomfortable and repulsed. I understood why Anna did some of the things she did to feel close to people but her idea of emotional and physical intimacy are so distorted. Now I readily admit that I felt so strongly because I am a mother and I can’t fathom a parent being so completely useless and uncaring. I know that this has colored my perception of this book and I am genuinely interested in hearing another reader's point of view.

Here is a good point though: it's provocative. Despite its graphic nature, Scheidt's delivery of Anna's story is emotionally raw and blunt. There are many painful and disturbing moments throughout  that will make you shake your head and want to punch something. But the silver lining is that Anna despite all the crap that happens to her is resilient and does eventually come into her own. Don't get me wrong - she confused the hell out of me. There were times when she was almost robotic about the events happening around her. I don’t think she fully comprehends some of the things that have happened to her in the past but she ends up with more clarity about her mother and her best friend, Toy. To be honest, her empathy towards her mother shocked me.

So I give Uses For Boys 2 and ¾ stars - only because I can't describe it as an enjoyable read. While it was difficult for me to read this, I'm glad to have had something that pushed me out of my comfort zone and given me plenty of food for thought. 

~ Bel