Friday, August 19, 2011

Bel's Love Letter to Patch Cipriano

Dear Patch,

I am not at a loss for words to describe you.  However, I am at a loss as to how to describe you in a PG-13 kind of way...  

Any one familiar with you knows that you are never shy about saying what's on your mind.  All the innuendos served up with your arrogant manner have somehow captured the hearts of women (and in some cases men) everywhere.  And I don't doubt that you could teach Damon Salvatore a thing or two (sorry Damon, I still puffy heart you but Patch has a few more years on you).

Drew Doyon aka Patch
"You can call me Patch.  No really.  Call me."

To put it plain and simple, you are frakkin' hot and you make me all kinds of silly.  Even the book cover which depicts your tumultuous fall from the heavens is spectacular.  I wonder, did you nail the landing?  From the very first word you uttered to what’s-her-name, I’ve wanted to call you.  You are rather stalkerish but because this is a book and somehow in YA world there’s a special kind of magic that renders all high school boys hot, I’ll let your stalkerish ways go.  But I’m keeping my eye on you only because I know what your eyes are doing when I’m not looking.
"All this time I've hated myself for it.  I thought I'd given it up for nothing.  But if I hadn't fallen, I wouldn't have met you."

A fallen angel. Could there be anything more of a chick-magnet than a guy who is on the outs with an authority figure?  And THE supreme one at that!  On the outside you're this cocky, macho guy who doesn't care what people think of him.  Yet inside you're probably this cuddly little teddy bear who's just so misunderstood.  Hmmm.  Scratch that.  I prefer your outward cocky demeanor.

"Five days a week isn't enough of me?  Had to give me an evening too?"

You are so arrogant!  You think the sun revolves around you.  And may be it did at one point.  After all, as a fallen angel you may have seen a rough draft of the universe prior to the final product.  But that arrogance of yours comes dressed in black with a smirk, great hair and gorgeous eyes.  You can get away with that and have my evenings too.  As long as tacos are involved, I'm good.

"I want to do a lot of things to your body but that's not one of them."

You obviously have a keen understanding of human biology.  It is your superior knowledge that leaves me to conclude that I need extra tutoring.
"Say provoking again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do."

Arrghh!  You are so darn infuriating!  I don't know if I should swat you with that pool cue or just let you teach me how to play pool.  Your smug self would probably think being hit with a pool cue is some sort of foreplay.  Do you see the dilemma I'm in?

Nora: "It's called a shower.  Soap, shampoo, hot water."
Patch: "Naked. I know the drill."

If I, like Nora (lucky girl), was ever stuck in a motel room with you, I think my head would spontaneously combust - reason being all of the above.  Oh and speaking of ... Nat and I wholeheartedly agree that the song "The Big Bang" describes you to a T.  We like to pretend that it's you singing. Never has the word "combustible" gotten two BiblioJunkies so giddy!  

Well it's obvious that you are many, many things and that us mere mortals have no way of resisting you.  And after that wild climactic ending in Crescendo, we all await eagerly to find out what happens in Silence.  By the way, it's beyond my comprehension why you didn't make it farther in the YA Crush Tourney.  Seriously, a showdown between you and Jace?  Now that would have been HOT! ... and a little too much for this BiblioJunkie to handle.  But still, what do you care?  You could probably squash your competition with your thumb and use your Jedi mind trick to mess them up.

So dear Patch, let me use a quote I saw on a t-shirt that echoes the sentiments of many of us out there: 

"I want to ride the Archangel."

Comes out October 4, 2011


  1. Wow, that song is just... so... Patch! Just don't watch the video. :-) By the way - I just scored the song on for $0.69! :-) Now I will never turn it off.


  2. Actually, watch the video. The boy in it is hot. He's no Patch but he is easy on the eyes. Just try to not look at Miley. :-) - Nat

  3. That's actor, Kevin Zegers. He has been on Gossip Girl, The Jane Austen Book Club to name a couple. - Bel