The Truth About You And Me by Amanda Grace

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Madelyn Hawkins is super smart. At sixteen, she's so gifted that she can attend college through a special program at her high school. On her first day, she meets Bennet. He's cute, funny, and kind. He understands Madelyn and what she's endured - and missed out on - in order to excel academically and please her parents. Now, for the first time in her life, she's falling in love.

There's only one problem. Bennet is Madelyn's college professor, and he thinks she's eighteen - because she hasn't told him the truth.

The story of their forbidden romance is told in letters that Madelyn writes to Bennet - both a heart-searing ode to their ill-fated love and an apology.

I was taken with Amanda Grace last year after I read But I Love Him, a blunt look at an abusive relationship told through the eyes of the victim.  That book was an absolute stunner. So when the opportunity came along to read The Truth About You And Me, I knew perfectly well that I’d be placing my trust in her once again to take me to that very edge where the characters are teetering on self-destruction before they finally reel themselves back in.

At first glance, Madelyn doesn’t strike you as a delinquent. Her excellent grades, model behavior and responsible nature would lead anyone to believe that she has it all together. That is far from the truth. Madelyn feels the mounting pressure from her parents’ high expectations to surpass even their own achievements. She has endured this quietly throughout high school. When she begins the Running Start program as a high school student taking college level courses, she seizes the opportunity of a being in a different environment to rebel against those expectations.

The trouble starts when she arrives at her biology class and meets her teacher Bennet and they experience one of those "instant connection" moments. There on out Madelyn engages in a dangerous game. On a chance meeting outside of the classroom, Bennet assumes that she is 18 and she allows him to think so. The sequence of events is mapped out through letters Madelyn writes after an unfortunate turn of events. Through these letters, you can follow her as she weaves her first lie and then each lie thereafter. The thing is, she is perfectly aware of what she’s doing and why.

Let me say that I love that this book is in letter format. It made the story even more personal. The letters manage to root through all the emotions to arrive at the motivations behind the actions or the impulses.  I was able to understand Madelyn’s mindset. I was dragged in but not dragged down.  A lot of her issues stem from her parents’ high expectations and no room for failure attitude. With Bennet the irony is that she feels more like herself even though she’s being dishonest with him. They do develop a friendship that’s cozy and reliable with both of them counting down the days til they can officially be together. 

I’ll tell you what, throughout the letters, Madelyn keeps hinting at that day when everything fell apart and as I got closer to that point, I grew more and more uneasy. My imagination was all over the place wondering what on earth could have happened. Did someone walk in on them? Did she let slip something? Did he see her at her high school? I couldn’t wait to find out yet at the same time I wanted to remain in that happy little bubble that Madelyn and Bennet had created.  I swear I could feel my heart thumping madly. But that’s great storytelling when you’re drawn in and can feel that clock ticking to the penultimate moment.

So how did I feel after I was finished? I felt a myriad of emotions from sadness to anger to happiness, to disappointment and finally I felt relief. Considering how this one stayed with me the rest of the day after I’d finished it, I’m quite certain that The Truth About You and Me will be in the running for my Top 10 of 2013!

~ Bel

Bel's Top 10 Of 2012 In No Particular Order

Another year has flown by and with kids, work, what feels like a zillion activities every week, I can't even believe how many books I've managed to get in. I'll admit that I did have a hard time putting this list together. A few were no-brainers but others had to fight it out. So below, in no particular order, are my favorites reads of 2012.

 

Okay I lied. This is at the top of the list. What can I say? This book is pure heart through and through. I thought I was going to be reading a simple story about a kid struggling with coming out of the closet. What I got was so much more. Amy Lane is a force of nature who took me on the most emotional ride ever. The highs were very high and lows made me sob incessantly and my heart wrench for the characters. It sounds like a torturous read but it isn't. Until Chase In Shadow I had never experienced emotions written so vibrantly and described in such beautiful, poetic prose that had me so invested in the characters.  Amy Lane, you have set the standard very, very high my dear. I love you for it.

  

You know how sometimes you have a sweet tooth? My Life Next Door is kind of like that when you have the need to read something saccharin that isn't overly dramatic with crazy stuff.  Every so often you just need a good read that leaves you happy. If you’re going to picture a spot for this on the bookshelf, it will be right next to another “feel good” book, Anna and the French Kiss.

 

This very disturbing story about an abusive relationship is laid out impressively by mixing up the chain of events. In doing so the reader is directed to focus on each situation rather than their own feelings about why she hadn't walked away from the imbecile yet.  I found myself empathizing with her and rooting for her when she finally woke up. Disturbing - yes. But also hopeful.

 

 

You have to love a formidable female character. Throne of Glass offers two along with busy plot line complete with political intrigue, the supernatural and plenty of action. Oh and did I mention that the girl kicks major ass? This was so much fun!

 

 

This is just one of those sweet surprises of the year. I admire how the author broaches the subject of sexual assault with sensitivity allowing the character to discover her own strength. And her knight in shining armor who insists that she become stronger is the forever guy you want to bring home with you. I still continue to gush over it.

 

This is my first David Levithan book and he absolutely blew me away. I’m still in awe as to how he managed to write an entire book featuring a genderless character in A. Despite that, or may be because of it, this book is the phenomenon it is. David Levithan is a genius and Every Day is a must read.

 

 

The story follows a new girl replacing a missing student at an elite boarding school where she encounters a less than warm welcome from some of her fellow students. This is excellent storytelling that pulled me so far in that I didn’t even realize it until the every end.

 

 

I think I've had my fill of dystopian for a while. Thank goodness this one didn't feel so much like it. The setting feels more soap opera-like featuring some very confounding characters. But that's the best part about this book - you don't know exactly where everyone stands. You just hope you're trusting the right person. (The full review will be posted Jan 3rd.)

I used to have an aversion to romance novels until Shel picked this one for me to try.  People, Jill Shalvis is THE queen of taking a simple every day situations and turning them into the most ridiculous moments ever. In this one, Dorie as the adorkable heroine had me laughing so hard sometimes I had to give myself time to recover before continuing on. If you ever need something to get you out of the doldrums, Jill Shalvis is your girl!

In A Discovery of Witches I found a very beguiling and suspenseful story rich in history and mythology. What I loved most about this is that even though Matthew Clairemont, the 1500 year-old vampire has many human moments, not once was I allowed to forget that he was a predator first and foremost. Knowing that only made this story more thrilling.







The ones that narrowly made the list:

Talk about dysfunctional! I have a love/hate relationship with certain elements of this story but I still ended up liking it. May be when I look at it as a whole rather than those individual parts I see and appreciate a complex dynamic involving two very stubborn people who somehow manage to get each other.

This entire series is so much fun, I had a blast with it. My favorite aspect is that while Mo may have been neck deep in chaos, she always came through because of her quick thinking and resourcefulness.






So there's my list. I wish I could name more since this is just a small representation of the many excellent books and authors I've read this year. Here's to a Happy New Year and Happy Reading in 2013!

~ Bel

 



 

But I Love Him by Amanda Grace

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"Sometimes at night, I wake up and stare at the heart for hours. I think of how I collected each piece from the beach, how I glued it all together into one big sculpture. I wonder if Connor realizes what it means, that he’ll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of glass is another piece of myself that I gave to him.

It’s too bad I didn’t keep any pieces for myself."

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and a track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved – and needed. Ann can’t recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor’s rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything – and everyone – in its path.

This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.

But I Love Him is a very disturbing look at the descent of a relationship into violence. The first chapter opens with Ann, lying beaten and miserable on the floor after another argument on awry. This is the literal breaking point but we’re not given much else. All the pieces come together as her story gradually unfolds. Each chapter serving as a reference to a point in time in their relationship. Every so often, a chapter brings the reader back to the present.

At first, I found the jumbled chronology disorienting. There were a few times when Ann mentioned certain events and I wondered if I had missed something. But ultimately this tactic works because it narrows the focus to the history of the relationship first before anyone can point a leering finger at Anne, wondering why in the hell she remained with an abusive boyfriend for a whole year. It's written like one of those, "where did it all go wrong?" scenarios where you sift through your memories attempting to pinpoint that crucial moment in time.

Connor himself has suffered at the hands of his abusive father and watched as his mother was destroyed by it. Ann witnesses this as well. So it’s unnerving to see her make the very same mistakes as his mother did: staying with the guy, thinking it’s something she did that set them off. Such is the irony that Ann recognized those mistakes in his mother but not in herself. It’s gut wrenching to see how much Ann has relinquished from her life so that Connor can be the absolute center. Even her friends have given up on her somewhat. She knows what her life has become. She admits to the "wrongness" and stress of feeling guilt at being happy if she hangs out with a friend, or that she's scared to say the wrong thing to him. Yet she still feels she can fix things – as long as she can placate him, she can fix him.

But I Love Him is not a fun read but it’s engaging. Amanda Grace does a spectacular job of helping us to understand Ann’s psyche, why she stayed and why she felt she couldn’t leave. I wanted to read it because I wonder about people who remain in toxic relationships that are slowly ruining them. It's easy as an outsider, to think "Don't you have any self-worth? Can't you see the signs?". I could never comprehend why anyone would allow that to happen to themselves. But I suppose you don't know until you've been through it or had someone you love go through it. 

This is a very thought-provoking book that made me cringe several times. I developed great empathy for Ann and surprisingly, Connor too. I felt sadness for his pathetic and terrifying childhood, his sad excuse of a man for a dad and his hopeless mother who never chose to give Connor his best chance. And though initially I wasn't a fan of the jumbled chronology, it is in fact a genius ploy because by the very end of the book, where everything is set into motion, I was left breathless.

~ Bel