The Impossible Vastness of Us by Samantha Young

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I know how to watch my back. I’m the only one that ever has.

India Maxwell hasn’t just moved across the country—she’s plummeted to the bottom rung of the social ladder. It’s taken years to cover the mess of her home life with a veneer of popularity. Now she’s living in one of Boston’s wealthiest neighborhoods with her mom’s fiancé and his daughter, Eloise. Thanks to her soon-to-be stepsister’s clique of friends, including Eloise’s gorgeous, arrogant boyfriend Finn, India feels like the one thing she hoped never to be seen as again: trash.

But India’s not alone in struggling to control the secrets of her past. Eloise and Finn, the school’s golden couple, aren’t all they seem to be. In fact, everyone’s life is infinitely more complex than it first appears. And as India grows closer to Finn and befriends Eloise, threatening the facades that hold them together, what’s left are truths that are brutal, beautiful, and big enough to change them forever… 


The Impossible Vastness of Us is a story about secrets, and how guarding those secrets provides a sense of security and stability. But then someone new comes into the mix and all of a sudden that well-maintained order is no longer there. India has managed to carve out a place for herself at school in California where she is liked, happy and participating in activities. Her single mother - with whom she has a troubled, angsty history - upends everything that India has worked for by moving them across country to Massachusetts because she is engaged to be married. India is spiteful and angry, and it's completely understandable since it all happened so suddenly. Her apprehension is justified when she meets her new soon-to-be sister who is not as welcoming to her. Eloise doesn't seem like she'll be helping her navigate her new school or inviting her into her social circle so she'll have to work her way from the bottom to the top as she's done before. It becomes more complicated when you throw in Eloise's friends and boyfriend, Finn who behave oddly towards India. Finn especially who is more cold than hot with her. She tries to ignore all that to focus instead on making inroads at school, finding ways to participate and generally staying out of the way of her mother's wedding plans. Much to her own chagrin, India can't help but observe and be intrigued by the dynamic between Eloise and her friends, including Finn, feeling there's more to their story. 

I don't read YA as often these days but it was Samantha Young who was a pull for me. Having read her adult series, I wanted something a little different but from a familiar author. The magic in The Impossible Vastness of Us is that the story unfolds in unexpected ways and as it did, I became so attached to the characters. I liked how Young gave enough space and time for them to develop. She never rushed through their moments and it felt like I got to know India, Eloise and Finn a little better each time. They also surprised me by breaking any initial assumptions I had about their personalities proving that no matter what is displayed on the outside, that everyone is going through something on the inside. While there is romance (a bit of a twist there, by the way), it's more about true friendships and those god awful, terrifyingly vulnerable moments when you share the real you with someone because it will change everything. That fear of losing what's most important to them is more amplified in these teenagers' world.

Samantha Young wrote a beautiful, heart-aching story about love, loss, trust and growing up. This is one of the best YA novels I've come across in a while and I should mention that I listened to the audiobook narrated by Brittany Pressley who did a superb job which is a big reason why I loved the story so much. Read it or listen to it - you will love it, too!

~ Bel

The Vast Fields of Ordinary by Nick Burd

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It's Dade's last summer at home. He has a crappy job at Food World, a "boyfriend" who won't publicly acknowledge his existence (maybe because Pablo also has a girlfriend), and parents on the verge of a divorce. College is Dade's shining beacon of possibility, a horizon to keep him from floating away.

Then he meets the mysterious Alex Kincaid. Falling in real love finally lets Dade come out of the closet - and, ironically, ignites a ruthless passion in Pablo. But just when true happiness has set in, tragedy shatters the dreamy curtain of summer, and Dade will use every ounce of strength he's gained to break from his past and start fresh with the future.

This is one of those lovely finds I came across when my kids asked me to take them to the library. Two wins here: one, my kids who love to read think that the library is a magical place and two, I discovered Nick Burd.

Dade is a quiet kid in a quiet town just waiting to get out.  Get out of town, out of the closet, out of a bad relationship, out of the mundane and immobile position he finds himself in. He has an awkward relationship with his parents who are experiencing marital problems. His no-so boyfriend Pablo treats him poorly. When he happens to meet Alex for about five seconds at a party, he’s smitten. He’s not even sure of Alex is gay but he takes a chance.

I was a bit skeptical about Alex initially because he screams “loser” being a drug-dealer and working at a hole-in-the-wall fast food joint. But any kind of judgment is abandoned once you recognize that this is a story about being stuck, directionless and waiting for something happen. Dade is looking for outside acceptance. He has already accepted that he’s gay and has proclaimed that to all the inanimate objects in his room. He knows he’s worth more that the crappy way Pablo used him when no one was looking. There’s a sweet moment when Dade describes how he feels with Alex, “He leaned over and kissed me…At first I was worried that I wasn’t doing something right, and then a few seconds passed and I realized that he simply wanted to kiss me. It was the first time someone had given me everything I wanted and asked for so little in return.” I almost wanted to cry for Dade at that realization. And I wanted to hug Alex for how well he treated Dade. He didn't have any unrealistic expectations of him and he too felt close enough to him to share his innermost feelings.

The other bright spot in Dade’s life is his new friendship with Lucy. She’s one of the few people who understands him and the first person with whom he can actually be himself completely. It's their friendship that stands in sharp contrast against those that he's been disappointed by. She breathes some life into an otherwise dull summer and brings him out of his shell.

What is really striking about the book is how Dade starts to awaken and realize that everyone is in the same boat. Not everyone is happy all the time or perfect. Alex puts it best when he says, "We're all sick ...Everyone's got that thing in them that keeps them awake." It's true and there are so many points in the book that so eloquently describe that struggle to break out and latch on to something that gives hope.

It's easy to assume that this is just a gay romance story. It isn't and that is secondary to everything that happens in it. Anyone who reads The Vast Fields of Ordinary will undoubtedly recognize a little of themselves in it. Whether it's during the high school years or when you're in your forties, as Dade's folks demonstrate, everyone is looking for direction.

~ Bel