Steadfast (True North #2) by Sarina Bowen

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Source: advance egalley provided by the author in exchange for an honest review 

She’s the only one who ever loved him—and the only one he can never have.

Jude lost everything one spring day when he crashed his car into an apple tree on the side of the road. A man is dead, and there's no way he can ever right that wrong. He’d steer clear of Colebury, Vermont forever if he could. But an ex-con in recovery for his drug addiction can’t find a job just anywhere.

For Sophie Haines, coming face to face with the man who broke her heart is gut-wrenching. Suddenly, he’s everywhere she turns. It’s hard not to stare at how much he’s changed. The bad boy who used to love her didn’t have big biceps and sun-kissed hair. And he’d never turn up volunteer in the church kitchen.

She knows it’s foolish to yearn for the man who returned all the heartsick letters she wrote him in prison. But the looks he sends her now speak volumes.

No one wants to see Sophie and Jude back together, least of all Sophie's police chief father. But it's a small town. And forbidden love is a law unto itself. 


You know, I fell happily in love with Bittersweet, the first of the True North books. There's just something so inviting about the setting. While reading it, I became curious about Jude, one of the farmhands who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Steadfast brings his story to life. 

After spending time at the farm, a place that had become a safe haven for him, Jude finally makes the return home to Colebury. Everything that could and did go wrong happened here. Before he left, he was involved in an accident that left one man dead who was his girlfriend Sophie's brother. The accident also revealed Jude's drug addiction that he'd been hiding from everyone including Sophie. When he went away to prison he cut off all ties. Returning to his hometown is a precarious undertaking because he has to face all his demons head on while attempting to stay clean. Sophie who was left completely shut out and bewildered is unprepared to see him again. The accident changed her life dramatically. Now that Jude's back in town he can no longer evade her and she plans on getting answers whether he likes it or not. What she doesn't expect is just how much she still loves him despite all the things that went wrong.

I have a personal reason for reading this: I have known someone in my life who suffered from addiction and in reading Jude's story I hoped to develop some understanding of what it was like for this person. Even a small glimpse into this world spoke volumes to me. Steadfast, though not the type of book to go in-depth into drug addiction and rehab, does give you a good enough sense of the daily struggle of staying clean. Jude wages an internal war every single day, a war that's fought by his mind repeating mantras telling him that he can stay healthy and his body that will forever crave that bliss. Bowen presents his struggle in an accessible way by headlining each of his chapters with a craving meter. There's no going with the flow as sanity is a premium. As for Sophie, I have to admit I was a bit perplexed by her. A part of me couldn't get over that she would still be in love with him and that's only because of the dynamics involved. Their relationship has the ultimate baggage which is why their attraction felt a bit uneasy for me. Then again maybe they're the only two people in this town who get each other and with a history as intense as theirs, it would be hard to ignore their feelings. The subplot dealing with the accident is more than intriguing and I found myself getting excited about where that was leading.

I'm amazed by the endless ideas Sarina Bowen comes up with for stories. She is seriously talented. As with Bittersweet, Steadfast features other characters that add richness to the story such as the warm and welcoming Shipley family. If only we could all have the Shipley's as neighbours and friends! There's also the unexpected kindness that Jude receives from a stranger showing that not everyone will hold his past against him. Steadfast is heavier but it's terrific none the less. You want to champion the guy who's making inroads in repairing the damage he has caused, redeeming himself in the process. Who doesn't love a second-chance story where forgiveness heals and one feels worthy of people's love again? Here's to you, Jude and to the many others who are also rebuilding their lives one day at a time.

~ Bel

Did I Mention I Love You? by Estelle Maskame

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When sixteen-year-old Eden Munro agrees to spend the summer with her estranged father in the beachfront city of Santa Monica, California, she has no idea what she’s letting herself in for. Eden's parents are divorced and have gone their separate ways, and now her father has a brand new family. For Eden, this means she's about to meet three new step-brothers. The eldest of the three is Tyler Bruce, a troubled teenager with a short temper and a huge ego. Complete polar opposites, Eden quickly finds herself thrust into a world full of new experiences as Tyler's group of friends take her under their wing. But the one thing she just can't understand is Tyler, and the more she presses to figure out the truth about him, the more she finds herself falling for the one person she shouldn't – her step-brother.

Throw in Tyler's clingy girlfriend and a guy who has his eyes set on Eden, and there's secrets, lies and a whole lot of drama. But how can Eden keep her feelings under control? And can she ever work out the truth about Tyler?

Did I Mention I Love You is the first book in the phenomenal DIMILY trilogy, following the lives of Eden Munro and Tyler Bruce as they try to find their way in an increasingly confusing world.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been in a reading slump of sorts, the kind where it’s hard to get into a book so it takes me two or three times as long to get through one rather than my normal day or two. Thanks to Did I Mention I Love You? the is slump over! 

Eden is every bit the bitter daughter who’s so angry at her father for walking out on her and her mother years ago. Now he invites her to stay with him and his new family in LA for the summer to possibly reconnect. She's not yet at that point where she can forgive him. I got why she was upset and had every right to be but I also thought she was being a brat at times. I mean, come on. She's there for the summer, give the guy a chance before completely shutting him out. When she meets Tyler, the oldest of her three step-siblings, he’s not welcoming or civil. He’s downright nasty and hostile towards her. If I thought Eden was bitter, Tyler is 10 times worse. He has attitude, gets in trouble with the law, he’s into illegal things and he’s in a dysfunctional relationship with his girlfriend.

Poor Eden is stuck in this mess having to make the most of the less than ideal situation. Thankfully, she’s making some friends even if this circle of friends includes Tyler. Their constant partying is different from what she’s used to at home, however, she’d rather be goaded into doing that than having to stay home and make nice with her dad. The time with them provides ample opportunity for her to study Tyler’s idiosyncratic behavior and abrasive personality. She studies his relationship with his brothers, his mother and his girlfriend. She knows there’s something that’s fueling his need for the hard partying and reckless conduct. The harder she looks, the more she finds herself falling for someone that she absolutely, most definitely should not fall in love with.

DIMILY pushed my wiggy button many times. It’s not just the fact that they’re step-siblings so any kind of attraction between them is both hopeless and impractical. It’s also that Tyler is a mess and for Eden to even remotely consider anything with him is simply bad judgment. The guy needs an intervention, not a distraction as Tyler likes to label Eden. For him, a distraction is a welcome relief from what’s ailing him but it’s unfair to put that kind of expectation on her. I think it’s a testament to Maskame’s writing that despite their imperfections and at-times deplorable actions, I care about these two and want so many things for them. I want Tyler to get better, I want Eden and her father to mend their relationship, and yes, I even want Tyler and Eden to find happiness together.

Without realizing it, I was sucked into DIMYILY. I was genuinely surprised to discover that I'd become so emotionally invested in Eden and Tyler. I have no idea when it happened, just that I am. I do like that Maskame doesn’t give them a clean resolution and that they may still be screwing up but they’re doing the best they can under the circumstances. These are flawed, complicated and troubled young people for whom I want better futures. I hadn't realized this was a trilogy until I'd finished it and now I'm beside myself waiting for the sequel!

~ Bel

Left Drowning by Jessica Park

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Weighted down by the loss of her parents, Blythe McGuire struggles to keep her head above water as she trudges through her last year at Matthews College. Then a chance meeting sends Blythe crashing into something she doesn’t expect—an undeniable attraction to a dark-haired senior named Chris Shepherd, whose past may be even more complicated than her own. As their relationship deepens, Chris pulls Blythe out of the stupor she’s been in since the night a fire took half her family. She begins to heal, and even, haltingly, to love this guy who helps her find new paths to pleasure and self-discovery. But as Blythe moves into calmer waters, she realizes Chris is the one still strangled by his family’s traumatic history. As dark currents threaten to pull him under, Blythe may be the only person who can keep him from drowning.

I have been eagerly awaiting to have this book in my possession. I don’t know if it’s the striking cover or just the premise of the story that got to me. It happened to be a Kindle Daily Deal recently which made my day!

Blythe is in a drunken stupor on our initial encounter with her. She’s a college senior now simply going through the motions until she graduates. She has managed to maintain a safe distance from everyone, avoiding relationships of any sort. She feels that she doesn’t quite deserve happiness or a social life since her parents died in a fire years before. The fire that took them and irrevocably changed her and her brother’s lives, is something that she blames solely on herself.

After a particularly disastrous and awkward drunk-dialing to her brother, she decides that she needs to sober up and develop a different perspective on life.  This is the same day that things change suddenly when one of her peers Sabin, introduces himself to her in the most spectacular of ways. His is a very colourful and animated personality that normally Blythe would run from. But she is charmed by his audacity and over-the-top mannerisms. There you go. She has finally made a friend. Even she is surprised that this is as much human contact as she has had with anyone in the four years she has been at college.

When she meets Chris, Sabin’s brother, it’s an inexplicable, instant attraction. She uncharacteristically introduces herself to him and ends up divulging her personal loss to him. For some reason, she can do this with him and feel safe. Chris quietly lets her grieve. There’s just something about him that allows him to be her safe haven though she finds it hard to understand the connection between them. It’s a series of false starts with them as they figure out what they mean to each other and what they want.

Blythe’s circle does grow and she gains new friends. Coming out of her self-imposed isolation to find herself being happy is almost mystifying to her. This is probably the part of the story I enjoyed the most.

There is about a three-chapter section where things get very hot and heavy where I felt I stepped into "Fifty Shades of Grey Lite". I didn't particularly care for it at the time because it felt distracting to me. Now that I’m done with it I suppose I understand why things were described in such detail. If Blythe has been this numb for the last few years since the tragedy, then it’s valid that when she’s with Chris that everything about them, both physical and emotional, would be a new sensation for her.

As for the rest of the story, as Blythe continues her journey, she realizes Chris and his family will need her strength to help them through the terrors that they had endured as children. The mysterious connection she shares with Chris becomes clearer the deeper they delve into the past that’s haunting them all.

Left Drowning has its emotional highs and lows. Their pasts are so twisted and horrific, it’s understandable they’d all feel demoralized as young adults.  All the characters are pretty awesome but sadly vulnerable, especially Sabin whose larger-than-life personality is just masking his own pain. All of them are stuck in their own hell and it's Blythe who helps to pull them from it.

I mentioned at the beginning that I was eager to read this and I'm glad that I was not disappointed. Jessica Park has written a sweet story that's messy in parts but also full of happy moments too!

~ Bel

A Really Awesome Mess by Trish Cook and Brendan Halpin

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A hint of Recovery Road, a sample of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and a cut of Juno. A Really Awesome Mess is a laugh-out-loud, gut-wrenching/heart-warming story of two teenagers struggling to find love and themselves.

Two teenagers. Two very bumpy roads taken that lead to Heartland Academy.

Justin was just having fun, but when his dad walked in on him with a girl in a very compromising position, Justin's summer took a quick turn for the worse. His parents' divorce put Justin on rocky mental ground, and after a handful of Tylenol lands him in the hospital, he has really hit rock bottom.

Emmy never felt like part of her family. She was adopted from China. Her parents and sister tower over her and look like they came out of a Ralph Lauren catalog-- and Emmy definitely doesn't. After a scandalous photo of Emmy leads to vicious rumors around school, she threatens the boy who started it all on Facebook.

Justin and Emmy arrive at Heartland Academy, a reform school that will force them to deal with their issues, damaged souls with little patience for authority. But along the way they will find a ragtag group of teens who are just as broken, stubborn, and full of sarcasm as themselves. In the end, they might even call each other friends.

A funny, sad, and remarkable story, A Really Awesome Mess is a journey of friendship and self-discovery that teen readers will surely sign up for.

You never know quite what you’re in for when you take on a book like this. Cook and Halpin have given Emmy and Justin very distinctive voices that have made this a fun read.  I was struck by Emmy’s flat out cynicism and disdain for her surroundings from the first page. She doesn’t feel connected to her family and thinks everything is a perpetual reminder of how she doesn’t fit in. Justin presents his story with immense but appealing sarcasm, feigns nonchalance and is perpetually angry about something or other. Both sides of their experiences are written with such humor and honesty, this book just may be one of my favorites of the year.

I enjoyed everything about this. Both Emmy and Justin are hysterical, dry and complicated kids who are too stubborn to search within themselves and admit to what has brought them to Heartland Academy in the first place. They’re surrounded by peers with their own bizarre issues: one is in for his constant need to create and live out different identities and another who has selective mutism. Things get very interesting when their counselor suggests that they would be rewarded for good behavior if they work together as a group to hold each other accountable for an entire week. With this carrot stick dangling in front of them they reluctantly fall in line. Forcing them to be accountable to each other gives them a chance to get out of their self-absorbed worlds and focus on a shared end goal.

Some of these kids start out so jaded and lost within their own pity party. But since being forced to work together these misfits find camaraderie and a safety zone. Plenty of hilarious scenarios take place, including a ridiculous one involving a pig, that will have you laughing until your belly hurts. Then there are quiet, profound moments such as this one that has stuck with me where Justin describes his depression kicking in: 

"I didn't know what it felt like for other people with this diagnosis.  For me, it was like somebody squeezing my stomach with a cold iron fist. Except it wasn't really a physical pain. It was just like the act of being alive hurt so freaking much that if anybody touched me I thought I might shatter into a million pieces."

It is a very honest and vulnerable moment captured so eloquently. I also like how there's no neat ending tied up with a lovely bow as the book draws to a close. While Emmy and Justin eventually have their breakthroughs there's still a lot of hard work ahead. The quick pace, brilliant writing and charismatic characters are so engaging which make me want to add A Really Awesome Mess to my shelf because it really is awesome!

~ Bel

Thank you to Egmont USA and NetGalley for the opportunity to review this title.