Did I Mention I Love You? by Estelle Maskame

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When sixteen-year-old Eden Munro agrees to spend the summer with her estranged father in the beachfront city of Santa Monica, California, she has no idea what she’s letting herself in for. Eden's parents are divorced and have gone their separate ways, and now her father has a brand new family. For Eden, this means she's about to meet three new step-brothers. The eldest of the three is Tyler Bruce, a troubled teenager with a short temper and a huge ego. Complete polar opposites, Eden quickly finds herself thrust into a world full of new experiences as Tyler's group of friends take her under their wing. But the one thing she just can't understand is Tyler, and the more she presses to figure out the truth about him, the more she finds herself falling for the one person she shouldn't – her step-brother.

Throw in Tyler's clingy girlfriend and a guy who has his eyes set on Eden, and there's secrets, lies and a whole lot of drama. But how can Eden keep her feelings under control? And can she ever work out the truth about Tyler?

Did I Mention I Love You is the first book in the phenomenal DIMILY trilogy, following the lives of Eden Munro and Tyler Bruce as they try to find their way in an increasingly confusing world.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been in a reading slump of sorts, the kind where it’s hard to get into a book so it takes me two or three times as long to get through one rather than my normal day or two. Thanks to Did I Mention I Love You? the is slump over! 

Eden is every bit the bitter daughter who’s so angry at her father for walking out on her and her mother years ago. Now he invites her to stay with him and his new family in LA for the summer to possibly reconnect. She's not yet at that point where she can forgive him. I got why she was upset and had every right to be but I also thought she was being a brat at times. I mean, come on. She's there for the summer, give the guy a chance before completely shutting him out. When she meets Tyler, the oldest of her three step-siblings, he’s not welcoming or civil. He’s downright nasty and hostile towards her. If I thought Eden was bitter, Tyler is 10 times worse. He has attitude, gets in trouble with the law, he’s into illegal things and he’s in a dysfunctional relationship with his girlfriend.

Poor Eden is stuck in this mess having to make the most of the less than ideal situation. Thankfully, she’s making some friends even if this circle of friends includes Tyler. Their constant partying is different from what she’s used to at home, however, she’d rather be goaded into doing that than having to stay home and make nice with her dad. The time with them provides ample opportunity for her to study Tyler’s idiosyncratic behavior and abrasive personality. She studies his relationship with his brothers, his mother and his girlfriend. She knows there’s something that’s fueling his need for the hard partying and reckless conduct. The harder she looks, the more she finds herself falling for someone that she absolutely, most definitely should not fall in love with.

DIMILY pushed my wiggy button many times. It’s not just the fact that they’re step-siblings so any kind of attraction between them is both hopeless and impractical. It’s also that Tyler is a mess and for Eden to even remotely consider anything with him is simply bad judgment. The guy needs an intervention, not a distraction as Tyler likes to label Eden. For him, a distraction is a welcome relief from what’s ailing him but it’s unfair to put that kind of expectation on her. I think it’s a testament to Maskame’s writing that despite their imperfections and at-times deplorable actions, I care about these two and want so many things for them. I want Tyler to get better, I want Eden and her father to mend their relationship, and yes, I even want Tyler and Eden to find happiness together.

Without realizing it, I was sucked into DIMYILY. I was genuinely surprised to discover that I'd become so emotionally invested in Eden and Tyler. I have no idea when it happened, just that I am. I do like that Maskame doesn’t give them a clean resolution and that they may still be screwing up but they’re doing the best they can under the circumstances. These are flawed, complicated and troubled young people for whom I want better futures. I hadn't realized this was a trilogy until I'd finished it and now I'm beside myself waiting for the sequel!

~ Bel

Playlist For The Dead by Michelle Falkoff

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A teenage boy tries to understand his best friend's suicide by listening to the playlist of songs he left behind in this smart, voice-driven debut novel.

Here's what Sam knows: There was a party. There was a fight. The next morning, his best friend, Hayden, was dead. And all he left Sam was a playlist of songs, and a suicide note: For Sam—listen and you'll understand.

As he listens to song after song, Sam tries to face up to what happened the night Hayden killed himself. But it's only by taking out his earbuds and opening his eyes to the people around him that he will finally be able to piece together his best friend’s story. And maybe have a chance to change his own.

Part mystery, part love story, and part coming-of-age tale in the vein of Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Tim Tharp’s The Spectacular Now, Playlist for the Dead is an honest and gut-wrenching first novel about loss, rage, what it feels like to outgrow a friendship that's always defined you—and the struggle to redefine yourself. But above all, it's about finding hope when hope seems like the hardest thing to find.

Sam discovers his best friend Hayden dead. Not something that can be unseen.  He goes through the cycle of sadness, anger, guilt as he wonders if there was any way in which he could have prevented Hayden from taking his own life.  It’s always the ones left behind left with all the questions. Hayden had left Sam a playlist along with a note simply stating that he’d understand once he listened to the songs. Putting the pieces back together dredge up all sorts of memories. Trouble is, he’s no closer to understanding anything. 

Hayden’s death has also affected a lot of people which outrages Sam when he sees the hypocrisy of some of the mourners who claim to have loved him but were major players in traumatizing him when he was alive. His fury is specifically directed at Hayden’s older brother and his friends who used to bully him incessantly, and also at Hayden’s parents who were never kind to or accepting of their younger son. As much as he blames them, he also blames himself.

A mysterious girl named Astrid introduces herself to Sam after the funeral saying that she knew Hayden but doesn’t elaborate on how. He can add this to the growing list of things Hayden kept secret. Striking up a friendship with Astrid moves Sam from being a loner to a circle of friends that he wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. With them he realizes that there’s more to appearance and what you think you see about a person. Astrid’s complexity and role in Hayden’s life gnaws at him and he’s anxious to get more details. In the meantime, the rumor mill is turning as some nasty things are happening to kids at school. Sam doesn't know what to think and in between lack of sleep, grief and hallucinations, he's worried that he could possibly have a role in some of the events taking place.

There are a few books I’ve read and reviewed previously that dealt with the aftermath of suicide. Each one had the protagonist searching for clues and answers to explain what they found hard to accept. Yet with these similarities, each one of these stories handled the theme differently. Playlist shows Sam admitting his confusion and anger, even acknowledging that he'd like to see some kind of vengeance on those whom he feels were responsible for making Hayden miserable while he was alive. However, he's also capable of being rational.  Each chapter, titled after a song on the playlist, sets up the mood and also provides both good and painful memories that help to describe the depth of their friendship. Sam is persistent about uncovering the truth which means he also has to come to terms with how he and Hayden left things shortly before the latter's death.

I'm always surprised when I'm drawn to what I expect to be morbid books. The thing is, I didn't find Playlist to be a depressing affair. His recollection of his friendship with Hayden are all he has to hold on to. I enjoyed reading how they'd spar over who had the better taste in music, often to just rile each other up. There's appreciation for the special language they shared and their loyalty. Sam's loss and bewilderment are natural, his feeling of betrayal when he discovers things about Hayden he didn't know previously are valid. Despite that, what got to me most was his ability to get to a point of forgiveness. Not all the questions are answered because that would be impossible. Faced with that reality, Sam must adjust to life without his best friend and he has to learn to accept that it's okay. The healing will come as he figures this out one day at a time.

~ Bel

   

     

   

If you'd like to know what songs are included in Playlist For The Dead, Michelle Falkoff has put a Spotify playlist together. It's brilliant! Enjoy!