The End of Feeling by Cindy Bennett

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Benjamin Nefer seems to have it all. He’s the most popular guy in school, the star quarterback with college scouts looking at him, his grades are near the top of his class, he can get any girl he wants . . . but he hides behind his dream life to mask the nightmare of his reality.

Charlie Austin is the new girl. Forced to move in with a bitter aunt, she only wants to protect her fragile mom from the world’s cruelty. When Benjamin sets his sights on Charlie, she’s armored against his charm—friends warned her about Benjamin’s game of pursuing and then dumping a long line of girls, not caring about the broken hearts he leaves behind. She doesn’t count on how single-minded he can be when she refuses him, or how charismatic, easing into her life through what he claims is just friendship.

Benjamin thought he could keep Charlie in the same place he keeps all girls—something to be used and then discarded. But Charlie has as many secrets as he does, secrets he’s determined to discover while keeping his own hidden. He realizes she’s the perfect girlfriend candidate . . . someone he can use to keep up the façade of a perfect life. Now he just has to keep his frozen heart from softening toward this unique girl, because if he doesn’t, his carefully constructed lies might just come thundering down around him, crushing him beneath the burden of feeling.

Review:

Benjamin Nefer notices Charlie Austin her first day of school.  He wastes no time and begins pursuing her right away.  He wasn’t prepared for her immediate brush off since she had already been warned about him.  But Benjamin Nefer is persistent.  Except, in this case, his persistence might backfire.  Benjamin’s approach to girls has always been to date them twice then break up with them.  That is just one of many ways for him to appear normal and privileged when his home life is anything but.  He will do anything to hide where he lives and the abuse he endures at home.  Including sparring at a local boxing club to give everyone other ideas as to wear the bruises come from.  He will also do anything to avoid emotional attachments.  And in the end, being attached to anyone in his hometown is useless as he intends on going as far away as possible once he graduates high school.  But Charlie is different.  In his pursuit he finds himself falling for her and he doesn’t have the slightest idea what to do about that as he forgot how to feel any emotions forever ago.

Charlie Austin just wants to keep her mom safe.  Due to complications at birth, Cora has needed assistance all her life.  Her first stay in a home for adults with special needs resulted in her being raped and becoming pregnant.  With Charlie.  Since that horrible time, Cora’s mother has taken care of both Cora and Charlie.  But when Charlie’s grandmother passes away they are forced to move in with Cora’s sister, Naomi.  Charlie doesn’t feel that Naomi wants them there and she certainly doesn’t trust her to take care of her mother.  Charlie’s days are filled with school work and caring for Cora.  Both of which she does willingly and lovingly.  Her plan after graduation is to find a job and care for her mother without the charity of Aunt Naomi.  Needless to say she doesn’t have time for a boyfriend.  But she can certainly do friends.  So when Benjamin Nefer backs off a little and pursues her as a friend rather than a romantic interest, she is completely on board.  But as things sometimes work out, Charlie starts falling for Benjamin.  And she finds herself wondering how on earth they continue to be friends when he might have the unexpected power to break her heart.

The slowly developed romance between Benjamin and Charlie is perfectly balanced with the struggles they each have at home.  The author holds nothing back in describing Benjamin’s home life.  It’s brutally honest, violent and painful to read.  As for Charlie, my heart broke for her as well.  Her unconditional love for her mother is absolutely beautiful.  But the responsibility she has put upon herself is overwhelming to say the least.  And watching her struggle to come to terms with her aunt’s role in her life is touching.

This a remarkable and well written story.  The characters situations were original.  The romance was steady and believable.  And in the end, it left me both emotionally exhausted and hopeful.  I won’t lie.  This is not always an easy book to read and each MC’s personal lives might be a trigger for some readers out there.  But if you are looking for contemporary YA with weighted issues that really make you think, I definitely recommend The End of Feeling.

Nat 

Summer On The Short Bus by Bethany Crandell

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Spoiled, Versace-clad Cricket Montgomery has seventeen years of pampering under her belt. So when her father decides to ship her off to a summer camp for disabled teens to help her learn some accountability, Cricket resigns herself to three weeks of handicapped hell.

Her sentence takes a bearable turn as she discovers the humor and likeability of the campers and grows close to fellow counselors. Now, if she can just convince a certain Zac Efron look-alike with amazing blue eyes that she finally realizes there's life after Gucci, this summer could turn out to be the best she's ever had.

Summer on the Short Bus is a very non-P.C., contemporary YA with a lot of attitude, tons of laughs, and a little life lesson along the way.

After she's busted at a party, Cricket’s dad feels that he’s at his wits end with her shenanigans. She doesn’t take him seriously when he threatens to dole out his next punishment. After all, he’s been a pushover all these years so what makes this time different? Well, he means business. She gets shipped off to "Camp I Can" where she is to be a counselor to special needs children. Cricket has absolutely no experience taking care of herself much less anyone else. having grown up self-centered. She's in complete shock to find herself in the middle of nowhere (Michigan without cell phone reception feels like nowhere) and all she can think of is escaping. The only thing that keeps her from having an ugly meltdown is the hottie counselor, Zac Efron doppelganger, Quinn. She resigns herself to situation when her one and only escape plan fails. It doesn’t mean that she embraces camp life. In fact, it’s the opposite – she’s horrified that she has to be there all summer and work with these kids who make her feel so uncomfortable.

It would be incredibly easy to misconstrue Summer On The Short Bus as a vulgar and insensitive view of people with special needs. But as I laughed out loud several times at the sarcastic humor, I realized that it’s really more about the people who interact with them. Cricket doesn’t experience any immediate “aha” moments as she learns to get used to her new environment. Her no filter of a mouth lands her in all sorts of ridiculous scenarios.  Her peers share stories with her that demonstrate that she’s not the only one who has ever felt out of their depth at the camp. The best laughs come from her interactions with the camp kids, specifically the two she's in charge of, Claire and Meredith, who don’t see themselves as anything different. They’re so funny saying whatever comes to mind, instantly glomming on to Cricket like she’s their best friend. She doesn’t know what to make of her little fan club but soon finds herself enjoying their strange company and idiosyncrasies. As it turns out, may be she's the one who's been taken under their wings.

Cricket makes a mess of things due to a giant faux pas. When she realizes that she has hurt someone she truly cares about, she's stunned and helpless. Even she can't defend her own actions. Asking for forgiveness is unfamiliar territory and this new perspective gives her much to think about. 

Crandell says in her notes that she didn’t intend to send some message with this book. Instead she was searching within herself for a way to connect with her own special needs child while simultaneously staying true to her personality. I had seen Crandell at a book signing last year and her sarcastic, dry humor is what drew me to buying her book. I thought a lot of the dialog felt very authentic. And as I finished it, I concluded that it's not so much about changing people's minds but about how you can grow to be a more empathetic person and still be true to who you are.  

~ Bel

How We Deal With Gravity by Ginger Scott

* * * * 1/2

When her son Max was diagnosed with autism, Avery Abbot’s life changed forever. Her husband left, and her own dreams became a distant fantasy—always second to fighting never-ending battles to make sure Max was given opportunity, love and respect. Finding someone to fight along her side wasn’t even on her list, and she’d come to terms with the fact that she could never be her own priority again.

But a familiar face walking into her life in the form of 25-year-old Mason Street had Avery’s heart waging a war within. Mason was a failure. When he left his hometown five years ago, he was never coming back—it was only a matter of time before his records hit the billboard charts. Women, booze and rock-n-roll—that was it for him. But it seemed fate had a different plan in mind, and with a dropped record contract, little money and nowhere to go, Mason turned to the only family that ever made him feel home—the Abbots.

Avery loved Mason silently for years—until he broke her heart…completely. But time and life have a funny way of changing people, and sometimes second chances are there for a reason. Could this one save them both?

A while ago, I bypassed this title because it just didn’t seem up my alley. Recently after being thoroughly charmed by This Is Falling I decided to give this a go and what I discovered is another gem from Ginger Scott.

The tone is absolutely heavier than some books I’ve read of late. The first chapter opens with Abby at a grocery store trying her best to console her son Max as he’s having a public meltdown. Those few pages capture the very real hardship of being the parent of an autistic child. And it’s not just learning how to work with their autistic child, it’s also having to endure the judgmental attitudes of people who couldn’t bother to understand that it's not a simple behavioural issue. I was shocked by some of the things Abby describes.

Abby’s whole world is her son. Everything she does and works towards is to make a better future for him. She sacrifices a lot to do that and relies heavily on her father and her best friend for support. Both of them give willingly and it’s comforting that they both adore and love Abby and Max so much. Simply put, they're awesome and Abby is truly blessed to call them family. Mason comes back to town to recover from his band’s disaster of a tour. He expects to just lay low and reevaluate things but he’s thrown when he runs into Abby. They have a history, one of being friends only but seeing her now, Mason would like more than that.

Initially, Mason is a bit of a jerk but something about Abby causes him to refocus his priorities. Hearing of her divorce and what her life is like now, and seeing how special Max is, he finds himself delicately infiltrating their lives. Abby in the meantime is skeptical. The Mason she remembers was a self-centered knucklehead and she has no room for someone like that in her life. She and Max are a package deal and anyone who wants in has to accept that Max and his needs will always come first. Is Mason up to the task? And is Abby willing to find out? 

As I read along, I found myself internalizing a lot of things. Parenting is hard. I’m the mother of three kids and I wonder some days how I manage in between dealing with three very distinct personalities, homework, shuffling them off to their various activities and social events, managing a household and having a job too. Having a child with special needs requires ultimate strength. Getting a glimpse into this life that requires strict order, routine and a bottomless well of patience and humility opened my eyes to the daily challenges that special needs children and their families face.

This is what Mason is exposed to and for the first time in his life, he’s thinking beyond himself. He comes a long way from the beginning of the book to become someone important to Abby and Max. When another career opportunity presents itself, he has to weigh the pros and cons of accepting it. This doesn’t mean that mistakes don’t happen. Screw ups are part of being human and Abby, who knows she doesn’t have it all figured out, is acutely aware of that.

How We Deal With Gravity is revealing and hopeful. Reading is the best kind of magic where you’re transported into a different world. In this case, it’s the world that we live in. But we get to see it through a new lens thanks to Ginger Scott's beautifully crafted and sensitive story.

~ Bel