Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

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This is a poignant comedy about a crime that never took place, a would-be bank robber who disappears into thin air, and eight extremely anxious strangers who find they have more in common than they ever imagined.

Viewing an apartment normally doesn’t turn into a life-or-death situation, but this particular open house becomes just that when a failed bank robber bursts in and takes everyone in the apartment hostage. As the pressure mounts, the eight strangers slowly begin opening up to one another and reveal long-hidden truths.

As police surround the premises and television channels broadcast the hostage situation live, the tension mounts and even deeper secrets are slowly revealed. Before long, the robber must decide which is the more terrifying prospect: going out to face the police, or staying in the apartment with this group of impossible people.

Source: ARC provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review

Fredrik Backman has this remarkable ability to conjure up stories about every day people and present them in such unique ways. In Anxious People, he takes a bank robber who wishes to steal a specific amount of money but when the robbery itself goes awry, the robber runs and winds up at an apartment viewing that seems to have attracted the strangest people ever. Each person, including the bank robber gets to express their story where Backman delves into their background, showing us how they got to be where they are. It's through masterful storytelling that he puts in to perspective human behaviours. With this random group of socially-awkward individuals and by the author's description, idiots, the greater the insight.

One character in particular, Zara, stands out to me. She comes off to me as a cross between two of Backman's most beloved characters - Ove and Britt-Marie - but definitely way more prickly and blunt to the point of rudeness. I was so frustrated with her yet compelled to know more about her. Her sessions with her psychiatrist are so trying that they border on comical because Zara is who she is and even at her worst, she has the most remarkable observations about life. 

Anxious People requires a bit more concentration because there are so many characters and POVs, and the chapters tend to jump around so much. I usually have a harder go at reading stories set up like that but it's Backman, and I know he always has something good in store. The payoff is worth it when connections start making sense. This novel is a testament to his craft as he develops mini stories within a grander story and eventually has all the pieces mean something and fit together. The reader wonders what obsucre events have to do with anything but it all becomes clear at the end. Backman also includes a slight twist that deserves a tip of the hat.

Anxious People will have you run the gamut of emotions from anxiety to grief to forgiveness. As with some of his previous works there is mention of suicide. Yet the tone is balanced against all of the quirky details and tangents throughout the story. (Oh, just you wait until the rabbit comes into it!) Backman is simply incredible and he's gifted us with another impactful novel. All these characters feel real and I know they've resonated with readers who feel that there's a bit of them in here. As for me, I was charmed by everyone in the end, none more so than Zara.

~ Bel

Keep Her Safe Blog Tour

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Making a Murderer meets Scandal in this story of police corruption, family secrets, and illicit affairs from bestselling author K.A. Tucker, celebrated for her “propulsive plot twists and searing seduction” (USA TODAY).

Noah Marshall has known a privileged and comfortable life thanks to his mother, the highly decorated chief of the Austin Police Department. But all that changes the night she reveals a skeleton that's been rattling in her closet for years, and succumbs to the guilt of destroying an innocent family's life. Reeling with grief, Noah is forced to carry the burden of this shocking secret.

Gracie Richards wasn't born in a trailer park, but after fourteen years of learning how to survive in The Hollow, it's all she knows anymore. At least here people don't care that her dad was a corrupt Austin cop, murdered in a drug deal gone wrong. Here, she and her mother are just another family struggling to survive...until a man who clearly doesn't belong shows up on her doorstep.

Despite their differences, Noah and Gracie are searching for answers to the same questions, and together, they set out to uncover the truth about the Austin Police Department's dark and messy past. But the scandal that emerges is bigger than they bargained for, and goes far higher up than they ever imagined.

Complex, gritty, sexy, and thrilling, Keep Her Safe solidifies K.A. Tucker's reputation as one of today's most talented new voices in romantic suspense.

Source: advance e-galley provided in exchange for an honest review

Keep Her Safe is a romantic suspense story that comes together through four points of view - Noah and Gracie in the present, and their parents in the past. Events are sprung into motion on the night that Noah's mother commits suicide. As Austin's chief of police, she was praised for her work ethic but under a lot of pressure, too. The night she dies, she was in one of her drunken stupors and mumbling cryptic messages to Noah. He couldn't comprehend any of it and attributed it to the drinking. But after her death, he's left with so many questions and a bizarre dying request by her to find Gracie, the daughter of her former fallen colleague. Gracie and her mom moved away years before after her father died and was accused of corruption. Noah's mom wanted him to find her and make amends which is an impossible task without any kind of context to go on. When he shows up to where she lives, Gracie is suspicious and cold. Things haven't been easy for her and her mother so a stranger appearing at her door isn't exactly going to be given a warm welcome. Once Noah shares with her what little he knows it becomes apparent to both of them that his mom knew something about her father's death and before you know it, they're partnering together to uncover this big mystery.

There is so much happening in the book and I was impressed by a couple of red herrings that were thrown in. The back-and-forth flip between the past and present sets up all the players, gradually chaining together the sequence of events while giving you just enough details to keep you on edge. As things get more grave and the adrenaline starts rushing, the sexual tension heightens as Noah and Gracie become closer. It's nice that they have their bubble to retreat considering everyone around them is hard to trust. It definitely heightens the suspense and I love how Tucker ties in everything at the end. Keep Her Safe reminded me of how much I enjoy mysteries which sadly, I haven't been able to read enough of recently. It was the perfect balance of can't-sit-still suspense and romance.

~ Bel

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

K.A. Tucker writes captivating stories with an edge. Her books have been featured in national publications including USA TODAY, The Globe and Mail, Suspense Magazine, and Publishers Weekly. She currently resides in a quaint town outside Toronto with her husband and two beautiful girls.

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In Pieces by Danielle Pearl Release Week Blitz

The second New Adult novel in the Something More series by bestselling author Danielle Pearl!

Beth Caplan is ready to begin college a new woman. She's worked hard to overcome her demons, and she's eager to live in a world where no one knows about her past. Except, of course, her childhood crush. David March has known Beth a lifetime. Tasked by her older brother to look after the beautiful incoming freshman, he takes his job exceptionally seriously. Even if she tempts him in ways no kid-sister type ever should.

When Beth's ex shows up as a transfer student, and a creepy stranger with a reputation for violence sets his sights on her, Dave will do whatever it takes to protect her, even if it means moving her in with him. When he learns just how much a secret from his past hurt the girl he's always cared for, he becomes doubly determined to protect her, even from himself. But that's easier said than done.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Danielle Pearl is the bestselling author of the Something More series. She lives in New Jersey with her three delicious children and ever-supportive husband, who---luckily---doesn't mind sharing her with an array of fictional men. She did a brief stint at Boston University and worked in marketing before publishing her debut novel, Normal. She writes mature Young Adult and New Adult contemporary romance. Danielle enjoys coffee, wine, and cupcakes, and not in moderation.

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REVIEW

* * * 1/2

Source: advance e-galley provided in exchange for honest review


Beth's life was in turmoil three years ago after a devastating break up that had her taking matters into her own hands to get rid of the sadness. Now as a college freshman, that incident is behind her and her focus is on her studies and being someone who can help others. She finds her attempt at normalcy thwarted every so often by none other than David, her older brother's best friend and her long-time secret crush. He doesn't seem to reciprocate so she's resigned herself to the fact that nothing can happen. As much as David has been keeping his feelings for Beth in check, his top priority is Beth's well-being and he means to keep his promise to her brother to keep her safe. He does it to the point of overprotectiveness treating her as if she's a fragile china doll that'll break at any moment. He's so intent on sheltering her that he doesn't see how he's practically smothering her. This causes a lot of tension between them which only makes it harder to hold back his feelings for her. That temptation to cross the line from friendship to something more is just dangling there in front of them.

I remember Pearl's other book, In Ruins, as being angst-ridden which is honestly what I was expecting here. However, In Pieces couldn't have felt more different to me. Beth's rocky and emotional journey to distance herself from her past mistake - that thing that she refuses to be defined by - is told in a sympathetic and sensitive way. It's a story that sheds a little light on mental health, for example how something that can be seemingly innocuous is perhaps a sign of something that requires more attention. Beth's self-awareness and resilience is what impressed me most and I was very drawn to her narrative above anything else. When you read In Pieces, be prepared for some strong reactions and feels and I hope like me that you feel it is time well spent. 

~ Bel

GIVEAWAY

Win 1 of 10 paperbacks of In Pieces!

How To Mend A Broken Heart by Anna Mansell

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A compelling, heartbreaking tale that will make you laugh, cry and believe in the kindness of strangers. Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Lucy Dillon and Miranda Dickinson.

Life is good for nurse Kat. That is until the man she intended to marry legs it, she’s unexpectedly promoted to a position with too much responsibility, and a patient arrives on her ward under strange circumstances.

Susan is a mystery. She refuses to speak or interact with anyone, she’s obsessed with a book of fairy tales, and the only name in her diary is that of Rhys – a plumber she barely knows.

Down-to-earth Rhys is trying to get his life back on track after the death of his beloved brother. His mum is his priority, and she needs him as much as he needs her. Or at least she did, until she starts disappearing, leaving him to find comfort in the form of his brother’s girlfriend.

Complicated is an understatement.

As the lives of these three lost strangers intertwine, will they find a way to lay ghosts past, present and future to rest? And when the chance comes to mend their broken hearts, will they be brave enough to take it? 


Source: advance e-galley provided in exchange for an honest review


How To Mend A Broken Heart is the story of three unrelated people - Kat, Susan and Rhys - who are brought together by an accident. The result is life-changing for all three of them. 

Kat, a nurse returns from vacation hoping that the time spent away from her ex would help ease her heartbreak over their horrible breakup. It's not easy to erase several years invested in a relationship that eventually turned to dust. Coming back to work to a promotion is the distraction she needs. One of her cases is Susan, who was brought in earlier after surviving a scary accident. This is her toughest case yet as Susan has not uttered a word since she's been at the hospital. Racking her brain to figure out how to help her, Kat comes across Rhys' phone number amongst Susan's possessions and calls him. Rhys who's drowning in his own drama after his brother's suicide, barely knows Susan. He and his brother used to do some repair work at her house but when he sees Susan at the hospital, he recognizes something in her. That sense of deep loss and closing in on oneself. Rather than walk away, he sticks around hoping that in helping her, he can gain some insight into why his brother gave up on life. None of these three individuals is ready for the impact of what's to come. 

Grief for some people can be debilitating and this story explores how Kat, Susan and Rhys grapple with theirs. It's the way each of them is handling it that's fascinating. What makes some fight while others simply want to give up? What kind of heartbreak can be so devastating that there's no recovering from it?  When and how does that moment of clarity amid the chaos come? As heart-wrenching of a read as this was, it was also an illuminating look into our own natures. 

This is a lovely debut from Mansell that features plenty of heart. While I didn't get the ending that I was expecting, I love how she developed these characters that eventually learn to embrace their past and look forward to the future. Sometimes you have to look hard at the ugly parts to get to the beautiful.

~ Bel

Black Iris by Leah Raeder

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The next dark and sexy romantic suspense novel from the USA Today bestselling author of Unteachable.

It only took one moment of weakness for Laney Keating’s world to fall apart. One stupid gesture for a hopeless crush. Then the rumors began. Slut, they called her. Queer. Psycho. Mentally ill, messed up, so messed up even her own mother decided she wasn't worth sticking around for.

If Laney could erase that whole year, she would. College is her chance to start with a clean slate.

She's not looking for new friends, but they find her: charming, handsome Armin, the only guy patient enough to work through her thorny defenses—and fiery, filterless Blythe, the bad girl and partner in crime who has thorns of her own.

But Laney knows nothing good ever lasts. When a ghost from her past resurfaces—the bully who broke her down completely—she decides it's time to live up to her own legend.

And Armin and Blythe are going to help.

Which was the plan all along.

Because the rumors are true. Every single one. And Laney is going to show them just how true.

She's going to show them all.

If you're inclined to reading darker subject matter then Black Iris should be on your list! It's a story about manipulation and revenge. The main character Laney, lays out all her flaws immediately. Simply put, it's one of the more unsettling books I've read in a while, yet despite that, I couldn’t tear myself away, managing to finish the book in one reading.

As I mentioned above, Laney admits her shortcomings and is no hero in this story that switches gears between the present and the previous year. Her home life is a wreck save for her close relationship with her younger brother. She’s not with the popular crowd at school and doesn't have any close friends.  At the beginning she comes home after a night of partying to discover a horrific scene at home.  And she hints that it’s something she had set into motion some time ago. 

There were many times where I was alarmed by Laney’s self-destructive exploits which include regular drinking, drugs and random sex. She's spiraling deeper into her own dark thoughts. Being the unfortunate victim of a prank where her own sexuality was used against her has affected her behaviour and subsequent motives. Maligned at school and made to feel like an outsider, she decides to live up to the vile rumors that have spread about her. 

Much later on she attends a college party with the intention of finding someone specific. She doesn't identify who, except that this is someone she despises with every fiber of her being, and we’re led to believe that he is the root of all her problems. We’re only given details in pieces until the whole picture comes together at the very end. While she doesn't find this mystery person, she does meet Armin and Blythe, instantly becoming friends with them. It’s a bizarre friendship-turned-love-triangle based on partying, drugs and lies. As the drama unfolds revealing secrets and tensions, you begin to see how every event is interconnected. What’s most disturbing is who does the manipulating and to what extent. It's all part of some twisted, elaborate game of cat and mouse. Honestly, I felt sick to my stomach.

Like I said earlier, I couldn't put this down. Only great writing can pull you in and immerse you in its world. I felt the weight of Laney's bitterness and feared for her when things started to get way out of hand. I also felt the reality of the world Raeder created. It helps that I'm familiar with some of the suburban places she mentions. I had this playing out as a movie in my mind as I read along. It has all the right elements -- betrayal, romance, sex, mystery. There's so much happening that messes with your mind. On the one hand, you see entitled kids wasting time by playing a high-stakes game of chess with people's lives. On a deeper level, these are seriously troubled individuals, sociopaths if you will, who like to instigate and maneuver events to their liking - public shaming for example - regardless of the casualties. 

Black Iris doesn’t offer any kind of clean cut resolution, there’s no fist bump of triumph in the air when the truth comes out. Everything comes at a cost and that cost is high. I had absolutely no idea where the suspense was headed. I just clutched desperately to the hope that someone would finally see things with clarity. By the time it was all over, I had to take a few deep breaths. There are still moments of the book that stick with me. It's not a story that you can easily shake off once you're done with it. When that happens, you know that was a great story!

~Bel

  

   

     

    

Playlist For The Dead by Michelle Falkoff

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A teenage boy tries to understand his best friend's suicide by listening to the playlist of songs he left behind in this smart, voice-driven debut novel.

Here's what Sam knows: There was a party. There was a fight. The next morning, his best friend, Hayden, was dead. And all he left Sam was a playlist of songs, and a suicide note: For Sam—listen and you'll understand.

As he listens to song after song, Sam tries to face up to what happened the night Hayden killed himself. But it's only by taking out his earbuds and opening his eyes to the people around him that he will finally be able to piece together his best friend’s story. And maybe have a chance to change his own.

Part mystery, part love story, and part coming-of-age tale in the vein of Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Tim Tharp’s The Spectacular Now, Playlist for the Dead is an honest and gut-wrenching first novel about loss, rage, what it feels like to outgrow a friendship that's always defined you—and the struggle to redefine yourself. But above all, it's about finding hope when hope seems like the hardest thing to find.

Sam discovers his best friend Hayden dead. Not something that can be unseen.  He goes through the cycle of sadness, anger, guilt as he wonders if there was any way in which he could have prevented Hayden from taking his own life.  It’s always the ones left behind left with all the questions. Hayden had left Sam a playlist along with a note simply stating that he’d understand once he listened to the songs. Putting the pieces back together dredge up all sorts of memories. Trouble is, he’s no closer to understanding anything. 

Hayden’s death has also affected a lot of people which outrages Sam when he sees the hypocrisy of some of the mourners who claim to have loved him but were major players in traumatizing him when he was alive. His fury is specifically directed at Hayden’s older brother and his friends who used to bully him incessantly, and also at Hayden’s parents who were never kind to or accepting of their younger son. As much as he blames them, he also blames himself.

A mysterious girl named Astrid introduces herself to Sam after the funeral saying that she knew Hayden but doesn’t elaborate on how. He can add this to the growing list of things Hayden kept secret. Striking up a friendship with Astrid moves Sam from being a loner to a circle of friends that he wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. With them he realizes that there’s more to appearance and what you think you see about a person. Astrid’s complexity and role in Hayden’s life gnaws at him and he’s anxious to get more details. In the meantime, the rumor mill is turning as some nasty things are happening to kids at school. Sam doesn't know what to think and in between lack of sleep, grief and hallucinations, he's worried that he could possibly have a role in some of the events taking place.

There are a few books I’ve read and reviewed previously that dealt with the aftermath of suicide. Each one had the protagonist searching for clues and answers to explain what they found hard to accept. Yet with these similarities, each one of these stories handled the theme differently. Playlist shows Sam admitting his confusion and anger, even acknowledging that he'd like to see some kind of vengeance on those whom he feels were responsible for making Hayden miserable while he was alive. However, he's also capable of being rational.  Each chapter, titled after a song on the playlist, sets up the mood and also provides both good and painful memories that help to describe the depth of their friendship. Sam is persistent about uncovering the truth which means he also has to come to terms with how he and Hayden left things shortly before the latter's death.

I'm always surprised when I'm drawn to what I expect to be morbid books. The thing is, I didn't find Playlist to be a depressing affair. His recollection of his friendship with Hayden are all he has to hold on to. I enjoyed reading how they'd spar over who had the better taste in music, often to just rile each other up. There's appreciation for the special language they shared and their loyalty. Sam's loss and bewilderment are natural, his feeling of betrayal when he discovers things about Hayden he didn't know previously are valid. Despite that, what got to me most was his ability to get to a point of forgiveness. Not all the questions are answered because that would be impossible. Faced with that reality, Sam must adjust to life without his best friend and he has to learn to accept that it's okay. The healing will come as he figures this out one day at a time.

~ Bel

   

     

   

If you'd like to know what songs are included in Playlist For The Dead, Michelle Falkoff has put a Spotify playlist together. It's brilliant! Enjoy!

Undone by Cat Clarke

* * * * 1/2

Jem Halliday is in love with her gay best friend. Not exactly ideal, but she's learning to live with it.

Then the unspeakable happens. Kai is outed online ... and he kills himself.

Jem knows nothing she can say or do will bring him back. But she wants to know who was responsible. And she wants to take them down.

A searing story of love, revenge and betrayal from a bestselling author.

When I start to read a book like this, it’s usually with trepidation. There’s no way to know without reading through it how it’ll go, if by the end you’ll be shred to bits or filled with a glimmer of hope. I found out that Undone did both.

Undone begins in such a dark and grief-filled place with Jem so distraught and unable to bring herself to face life without her best friend, Kai. She relives their many moments as she’s holed up in her bedroom shutting off the world. She sees her best option is to off herself as there’s no point in going on without him. The day she decides to do it, she’s interrupted by Kai’s younger sister Louise, who was instructed by Kai himself to deliver a package to Jem. Within it are 12 letters, one for each month that Jem is directed to open on the 23^rd of every month.

As unlikely as it seems, this whole exchange between Jem and Louise is rather funny. It basically wakes her up from her long grief stricken stupor. Jem’s internal monologue drips with sarcasm and dry humor. First, she’s deciding between the pros and cons of a sandwich or ordering Chinese takeout as her last meal, then her disappointment with her suicide attempt being thwarted and Louise cutting into her valuable suicide time. It all caught me off guard and I loved it.

So Jem reenters the world and unexpectedly becomes part of the in crowd or as she calls it, Team Popular at school. It’s at this point that she hatches a plan to seek revenge for Kai’s death. Of course, it’s not quite that easy but in Jem fashion which would be snarkiness and social awkwardness, she makes some serious headway with plenty of goofy moments too. There are also the somber moments when she reads Kai’s letters, filled with unconditional love, affection and jokes that come with a lifetime of knowing someone so well, that may have you reaching for a tissue. But even his letters can’t deter her from The Plan, as screwy and misguided as it may be.

The story proceeds through the next few months and Jem makes progress in her own personal life but revenge is never far from her mind even as her relationships with certain members of Team Popular get complicated. It's ironic that during this entire time she's finally participating in life as opposed to watching on the sidelines like she used to do with Kai and it doesn't even register with her. No, she's still planning her impending death. By the end, things come to a serious head and Jem is faced with choosing between what she has wanted for the past year and the potential for a future that she has never allowed herself to contemplate.

Undone is written so well and there were a few moments where I was reminded of another of my favourite books, Saving June, also about the aftermath of a suicide.  Whereas the latter’s story is much more heavy, Clarke manages to relate Jem’s story with compassion and humor. Things do get serious toward the finish and I was absolutely stunned silent by the end. Whether or not Clarke intended to, my personal belief is that the end is open to interpretation which I appreciate because I am still going back and forth between what I think happened, what I feel the author wants me to think happened and what I hope happened.  

Read Undone. It's outstanding and well worth it!

~ Bel

Where You'll Find Me by Erin Fletcher

* * *

When Hanley Helton discovers a boy living in her garage, she knows she should kick him out. But Nate is too charming to be dangerous. He just needs a place to get away, which Hanley understands. Her own escape methods (vodka, black hair dye, and pretending the past didn't happen) are more traditional, but who is she to judge?

Nate doesn't tell her why he's in her garage, and she doesn't tell him what she's running from. Soon, Hanley's trading her late-night escapades for all-night conversations and stolen kisses. But when Nate's recognized as the missing teen from the news, Hanley isn't sure which is worse: that she's harboring a fugitive, or that she's in love with one.

Where You’ll Find Me starts with Hanley stumbling home drunk and discovering a stranger in her garage as she’s trying to sneak into the house. She doesn’t quite have the mental capacity in her inebriated state to deal with this stranger and after a few awkward exchanges, she goes to bed.  She does deal with him the next day. You’d think that once she’s sobered up she would be freaking out a bit about this guy, Nate, who for all she knows could be a serial killer, who’s been hiding in her family’s garage for some time now.  Instead, Hanley seems to recognize something familiar in him, that sense of something not being right in life and looking to escape. So she allows him to stay and they become friends.

Hanley’s issues involve a very sad incident that she hasn’t gotten over, sibling rivalry and best friends who are equally as lost as she is. Even with past therapy, she hasn't been able to fully heal from the pain she's been holding on to. She doesn't feel that she can go to her parents. As a means to cope, she resorted to becoming a different person with a thick wall around her. For all his mystery, Nate becomes someone she starts opening up to as painful as that is. It's a relief to be able to speak to someone finally but he doesn’t quite reciprocate which does eat at her.

It took a while for Hanley to grow on me. It was hard to like her with her foul attitude, sneaking around and lies. Of course there was a reason for it but until the story got to that point of revelation, I was just annoyed with her.  I knew my feeling towards Hanley stemmed a bit from my being a mother of two daughters. The idea of secrecy and deviousness made me feel so uncomfortable. But once Hanley started speaking truthfully about what she had been grappling with, my heart went out to her.

Nate is a good influence on her. Whatever he has lived through, he reminds her repeatedly to look at things from a different perspective. More importantly, he helps Hanley understand that she’s not the only one suffering. Later Hanley is given the opportunity to step up and be a better friend to Nate and her best friends which is a very encouraging turnaround in her life.

As uneasy as this was to read in parts, I did like Where You’ll Find Me.  It has poignant moments, reconciliations and promises of second chances. On a personal level, it has reminded me to be there for my kids and really listen to them. Oh and to also make sure that the garage door is always closed at the end of the day. Believe it or not, the same night I started this book, I discovered that we had left our garage door open. Thankfully, I realized this before bed. Phew!

~ Bel

Breaking Nova (Nova #1) by Jessica Sorensen

* * *

Nova Reed used to have dreams-of becoming a famous drummer, of marrying her true love. But all of that was taken away in an instant. Now she's getting by as best she can, though sometimes that means doing things the old Nova would never do. Things that are slowly eating away at her spirit. Every day blends into the next . . . until she meets Quinton Carter. His intense, honey brown eyes instantly draw her in, and he looks just about as broken as she feels inside.

Quinton once got a second chance at life-but he doesn't want it. The tattoos on his chest are a constant reminder of what he's done, what he's lost. He's sworn to never allow happiness into his life . . . but then beautiful, sweet Nova makes him smile. He knows he's too damaged to get close to her, yet she's the only one who can make him feel alive again. Quinton will have to decide: does he deserve to start over? Or should he pay for his past forever?

Jessica Sorensen has created a comfortable little niche for herself when it comes to writing fragile characters so damaged by horrifying events in their lives who are struggling to pick up the pieces.  Having read her previous books I kind of had an inkling of what to expect. Even with many similarities, Breaking Nova is undoubtedly the bleakest story of hers I’ve read.  

Nova and Quinton are interesting enough characters that kept me tuned in though I wouldn’t consider them as charismatic as other characters Sorensen has created. Both of them have suffered painful losses – Nova’s boyfriend committed suicide, Quinton’s girlfriend and his cousin were killed in a car crash in which he was the driver.  Neither has been able to move on, each feeling unworthy of forgiveness and love. Sound familiar? The differences are that this time around, Sorensen doesn’t offer up solid friends who look out for our protagonists. Instead, they’re as messed up as Nova and Quinton. I absolutely did not care for Nova’s best friend, Delilah or Quinton’s cousin Tristan and his roommate Dylan. They were more interested in getting high and drunk rather than do something with themselves. It’s especially hard when Quinton admits that he knows he could be much better, that he wasn’t always a “screw up” who spends his days lost in his room, aimless and hopeless. Nova has all the potential in the world but gets mixed up with Delilah and her mess.

Following this downward spiral isn’t easy and while it was depressing I was also impressed that Sorensen took the story in this direction. Unfortunately not everyone can be surrounded by good people with clear heads to pull them through. And not everyone can swim through the muddy waters in their minds as easily as others. If anything, it was a stark reminder that everyone handles loss and guilt in different ways and some get lost inside themselves more than others. 

In typical Sorensen fashion, we are left with a cliffhanger but a day after finishing it, I can say that Breaking Nova is another winner and I hope that Nova and Quinton get the peace that they’re desperately looking for.

~ Bel

Chase In Shadow by Amy Lane (Gay Romance, 18 years+)

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Chase Summers: Golden Boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster.

Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay but it if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.

There's something about the journey of self-discovery as you begin to admit the truth about yourself that's at once powerful and downright scary. This is why I was intrigued by the premise – guy so far into the closet that he's practically in Narnia, who must figure out how he’s going to come out. First he must admit he’s been in there for a while. So if you read this book, expect plenty of emotional upheaval and some very uncomfortable, harsh and graphic moments. 

Chase who has been hiding his sexuality from everyone – he can't even admit it out loud to himself – decides to enter into the gay porn industry so he can make more money to afford college as he studies engineering. It’s in this arena that he can be himself, unafraid and daring, separate from the other world where pretense is his armor. And it’s here that he finally falls in love for the first time with Tommy. The book explores the following year as Chase continues to lead his double life – that of gay porn star while still immobile in that closet – and how it all eventually crashes down around him.

I have to applaud Amy Lane for writing such an incredibly dark, raw and unabashed look at someone coming to terms with their sexuality. She doesn't sugarcoat anything. Chase makes some pretty poor decisions and knows it. And each crack in his armor is more devastating than the previous. With each chapter, he slowly and painfully opens up about his scarred past concerning his parents and the effect they had on him. Beneath it all is a fragile kid, and I really do mean kid because there are moments when his thought process is so childlike, it's heartbreaking.  He is so full of self-loathing that he feels unworthy of being loved or deserving of any kind of happiness. To admit out loud that he’s gay, is to admit something so terrifying about his past, that that simple admission would completely undo him.

Chase does have wonderful friends surrounding him. Donnie, his best friend since childhood and Tommy, Chase’s love interest are top-notch good guys, as are the other guys he meets at his new line of work. Tommy in particular, doesn’t take Chase’s BS and is always challenging him to take the next step out of the personal hell he’s in. Tommy is so well-written that his persona just jumps off the pages. I adore him and Chase together.

Be warned: Chase In Shadow is extremely graphic. I had no idea that this would be the case when I first requested to read it. (My suggestion: skip the graphic sequence at the beginning of each chapter if it's too much for you and just focus on the rest of the story.) Initially, I found it unsettling but as I read on, it made for a startling contrast. Chase considers sex in front of the camera less frightening than having to talk about his innermost demons. Any time there’s a pause where Chase can be truthful about himself, he shuts down and the heavy impact it has on his relationships is tremendous. So while the sex scenes are graphic, it's Chase's self-destruction that's most disturbing, brutal even to stomach. However, looking past the graphic details, the reader will succumb to Chase and Tommy's beautifully aching story.  

Chase In Shadow is no holds barred. I did have to read it in increments because some scenes are so gutting and exhausting that I could only take so much at a time. Thankfully, this tormented soul does get a chance at happiness after overcoming the many demons holding him back. A pleasant surprise at the end makes this tumultuous journey worth it! 

~ Bel